Lost in July

XLV

Margo
~
"If you gave him a false number, how did you two meet again?" Detective Grant asks. I guess he really wants a play-by-play.

I sigh. "A few weeks later I saw him lingering outside my school," I start. I dig deep into my memory, trying to piece together our story. "He saw me first as I was leaving. He ran up to me. He was there for a drug deal. I knew the girl he was selling to, which somehow ended up in the three of us walking together. Then I caved and gave him my real number. He was, unfortunately, charming."

Detective Grant nods, scribbling something in his notebook. "How much of this story time is going to be important?" I ask.

"Why don't we skip to what you know about his drug selling habits." I gulp at his words.

"Right." I spin in my chair, closing my eyes and praying this doesn't somehow bite me in the ass. "As we started to hang out more, he would bring me along on his deals. Sometimes he'd have me scale the weed or even try stuff to make sure it was good. He was convincing, and I was young. I felt cool," I scoff at my own words. "I was caught up in the thrill of it all."

It's hard to admit that I aided and abetted someone who's actively making my life a nightmare. It's hard to admit that at one point, I thought I loved X, and I thought he loved me. It's hard to admit that two years of my teenage years were wasted, doing drugs I didn't want to do, and getting into situations I never wanted to be in.

"Things rarely got dangerous, at least when I was there. Most of his customers were high school students. He told me he wouldn't bring me along to deals with felons or older men. He had a large clientele. Soccer moms to homeless people, he sold to everyone." I never understood how so many people knew X. I never understood how he got so deeply involved in this world. Apparently, he was even deeper than I thought.

"Did he ever mention anything about a man who goes by Ant?" Grant watches me carefully for a reaction, but the name doesn't ring any bells.

I scrunch my brows. "Ant? I don't think so."

Detective Grant sighs, leaning back. "Cyprus wasn't just dealing to soccer mom's. He was dealing drugs as a key part in a massive drug cartel. Ant is considered a drug lord, and presumed to be the puppet master of all this," he explains.

"Jesus," I mutter. I had no idea how far gone X truly was. "I do remember him constantly worrying about his profits to please 'the boss.' He was always vague about everything. Anytime I asked where he got his supply, or anything along those lines, he'd mumble some bullshit about 'business' and 'connections.'" I rub my eyes, aggressively trying to rid myself of my exhaustion.

"Let's talk about his behavior after you two separated."

"You mean the stalking?" I ask. He nods. I hold my breath for a minute. I suddenly regret not taking the opportunity to just quickly write all this shit down instead of insisting on getting my story out.

"Toward the end of our relationship, he became physically violent, but in subtle ways that made me think I was crazy. Like, grabbing me so hard I'd bruise or hurting me during... you know." My cheeks heat at the insinuation. I blocked out most of my sexual experiences with X, because deep down I never felt comfortable doing any of it. "He emotionally manipulated me every step of our relationship until I was basically his barbie doll to play with. I was terrified of losing him, so I did basically everything he wanted.