Lost in July

XIX

Collin
~
After we stopped screaming, Margo and I sat on the edge, dangling our legs.

Margo is holding a cigarette between her fingers, twisting it around and hitting it occasionally.

"You know, this is technically our last day," Margo says softly. "well, for me."

I look up, counting the stars and dreading living here without her.

"You excited to go home?" I ask.

Margo takes a long drag of her cigarette, throwing her head back as she exhales with a sigh. "No,"

"No?" I understand, but part of me thought she'd be excited. Or at least ready to be out of here.

"Are you going to be okay here alone?" She asks, her eyes meeting mine. I could see the worry swimming in the green of her eyes.

My heart aches. She's worrying about me?
"I'll be fine. Don't worry, i've done it before."

She gives me a sad smile. "You had Kyle before,"

I freeze. Yeah, she's right. I usually do have at least one friend to be with while I'm here.

I'm alone most of the time anyway, so it shouldn't be much different here. "It's only three days, I'll survive."

"Are you going to be okay at home?" I ask.

She takes a longer hit this time, the crackling of her cigarette filling the silence.

"I guess we'll find out," she shrugs. The smoke clouds around her, forming a halo above her head. "I'm scared of X."

"Is there any way you can get a restraining order?"

She sighs. "My parents were working on it last time I checked. They probably stopped trying once I came here," she hits her cig and then throws it off the roof. "the cops don't give a fuck anyway."

I frown. "I'm sorry. I want to help you, I just don't know how," I confess. I would do anything to help her, to protect her from him, but I don't know how to do that.

"You can't and that's okay. Just get better, that's all I want you to do." It's rare that she says such honest and vulnerable things, so I take what I can get.

I smile. "I'll try. For you,"

She shakes her head. "For yourself," she corrects. "and for me, too."

I swing my legs anxiously. "I want you to get better, Margo."

She plucks another cigarette out of the pack, making me frown. I'm worried about her. So so worried.

"I think I'll be okay," she lights the cigarette, puffing on it. "these meds I'm on now seem to be doing okay."

I don't know if the trauma I experienced with Kyle is making me more anxious, but fuck, the thought of losing Margo too hurts like hell. I've only known her two weeks and yet I care about her more than most the people in my life.

I've come to know her, deeper than I know anyone. We've told each other a lot and we've been through a lot of the same things. In a lot of ways I feel like being here with her saved my life.