Chapter 4

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Later that day, we left 'The Brew' and we all went separate ways, except for Spencer and I. We took the same way home. We talked about anything, and she also mentioned that me liking women really wasn't a problem with any of them. I wonder if Emily knew about me before I said anything. I'll ask her the next time I see her.

When we were in front of Spencer's house, I was going to say bye but instead, a very nervous and shy looking Spencer asked me if I wanted to come inside and hang out with her for a while. And by 'hanging out' she, of course, meant studying. But I was alright with that. I had some stuff to do anyways, so I agreed and thanked her for inviting me in.

She led me up to her room and gave me a glass of water which I thanked her for. Then she settled in on her bed and I just sat myself on her very comfortable chair she had in her room. Spencer's room looked so different compared to mine. I mean, I basically only had one room but my old room at my old place was a black hole. Her room is tidy, neat and very... Spencer. Her room suited her. In my old place, I was only allowed to choose a color for my walls, and I originally chose yellow, but they just painted it green. It looked really ugly, and I hated going in there. So glad that I don't have that anymore.

I took out my notebook and a pen and started to work on my essay on 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. We were supposed to write one after we read the first few chapters of the book. It was an easy assignment for me. After I finished, I noticed Spencer doing the same work I did. The only difference was that she was typing it into her computer while I wrote it on normal paper. I couldn't afford one, but it wasn't a big deal, I loved writing anyway.

Seems like she noticed me watching her because she suddenly looked up from her computer and focused her gaze on me. I smiled at her to not make it awkward, but I could already feel my cheeks starting to heat up. "You don't like writing on the computer? It's way faster than writing everything by hand", Spencer asked, seemingly interested. "And look who finished before you even though she wrote every single word with her hand", I answered arrogantly. It was only a joke of course but it was true, I was way faster than she was.

She smiled and only replied with a short, "Okay, you win." We laughed at that. I was really enjoying my time with Spencer. She's quiet and still focuses on her work even though there's someone else sitting inside her room. She's just like me. Maybe a little bit more competitive and hard-working. But I decided to try my best this year.

After we both finished our essay's, we decided to exchange them and read them through. And I've got to say, her essay was a masterpiece. "This is brilliant", I told her excitedly. "Have you read yours yet? This deserves a price!" Heat rose to my cheeks at her comment, but I could see a slight blush on her as well.

Once it was time to head home, I asked her if I could take a short-cut through her garden which she agreed to. Thank God. It was starting to get dark, and I really didn't want to walk the long way home because when I'm alone in the dark, I get fucking scared. We said our goodbyes and I made my way through her garden. Less than three minutes later, I was home.

Throughout my "dinner" my thoughts kept going back to Spencer. I didn't know what it was, but I found myself intrigued by the woman. There was something about her that was just so fucking attractive. And her determination? Hot as hell. Even though I was kind of concerned by that because I didn't want her to take it too far.

Later that night, Spencer called me, and we talked for about an hour. It was really nice. To have someone I can have long talks about nothing and everything with. It was a first timer for me because, as you know, I didn't have any kind of friends before two days ago. I didn't really know how to handle this, but I think I did pretty good? I don't know.
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A month later, I finally figured out why I was so drawn to Spencer. Well, I kind of figured it out. I had a crush on her. A massive crush that is. It was fucking scary. And on top of that, Spencer just recently told me that she had a boyfriend. Great. I had a crush on a straight girl who's taken. I also saw them together a few times. He sometimes comes over when we're at Spencer's. They're all up on each other and it fucking hurts.

I had to tell someone, but I didn't know who. I mean, Hanna and I are pretty close, but I don't know how she's going to take it. But I guess I should try, right? Also, no one found out about my secret yet. I mean the other one. the reason I don't want to get changed in front of anyone. But I know it's going to come out sooner or later.

Anyways, Hanna and I decided to study at her place after school because her boyfriend, Caleb, had something to do. I didn't really pay attention to what she was telling me. I was busy admiring Spencer. Ops.

So here we were. Studying at Hanna's kitchen table. I couldn't concentrate on my work because I wanted to tell her so badly. But I was so scared. Why am I scared though? It's not like she's going to hate me for it, right? No, she's not going to hate me but what if she'll tell Spencer?

After those thoughts, I concluded that I've got to be brave. I've got to take risks. And the last risky thing I did was only four months ago. Long time, right? So, I decided to tell her. Here and now.

"Um, Hanna. Can I talk to you about something?", I ask hesitantly and with a shaky voice. "Sure, what do you want to talk about?", she answered while looking up from her book. "Well, there's this thing...", I said. I didn't know how to say it. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" "Yeah, I know. I just don't really know how to put it...", I told her. I think she could hear my nervousness.

"Oh my God. Angelina, do you like someone?!", she exclaimed, hurting my ears. "Um, yeah, I guess I do." "Who is it. Do I know her?", she asked me excitedly. "Yes, in fact you do know her", I said, still having a shaky voice. "Well, then who is it?"

"It's, um... Spencer", I mumbled so that she couldn't hear me. "Who? I didn't quite catch that", she spoke. "It's Spencer!", I almost yelled. Her eyes and mouth opened in shock at my words. She looked like she's seen a ghost. I made a mistake. She's going to hate me and tell Spencer and I'm going to be alone all over again.

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