Backseat (A Spencer Hastings Fanfiction)

Chapter 16

I loved stargazing. It was one of my favorite things to do. I did it all the time even when I was doing it alone. Having Spencer here with me, lying on a blanket and just looking up at the sky, which was lit by a million of stars, it was just amazing. I don't think I've ever felt more at peace than I did in this moment.

"Where do you see yourself in ten years from now?", Spencer asked me out of the blue. I thought about her question for a moment and realized that I was actually really scared to answer. I answered her anyway, "Well, I would like to have a family someday. So, I hope that I'll be married in ten years. I don't know if I want kids though because I'm scared that I wouldn't be a good mother to them. The only thing I hope is that I won't be as depressed and sad as I was before I came here." She turned her head in my direction, "As long as you have me, I won't ever allow someone or something to make you sad ever again." Now I looked at her and answered a simple but honest, "Thank you."

We smiled at each other when all of a sudden there was a big ass thunder and only mere seconds later, it started to rain in streams. I didn't even realize there were clouds above us now. Loud screams erupted from our throats as we jumped up, grabbed the blanket and our books, and sprinted to Spencer's car. She quickly unlocked it from afar and we practically jumped in the backseat. We breathed heavily and tried to calm down from the shock we were in. We didn't get that wet but there were a lot of raindrops on our hair and clothes. After a few minutes, we looked at each other and erupted in a fit of laughter. We couldn't stop laughing for at least ten minutes. Okay, I may have exaggerated a little, but it felt like it was a long time.

I calmed down before her and I could only stare at her while she was still laughing wholeheartedly. It was the most beautiful state I've ever seen Spencer in. I leaned my head back on the seat and continued to watch her. Soon, she noticed that and calmed down instantly. Her head seemed too heavy for her as well and she also leaned her head back while still looking at me. We continued to sit like that for what seemed like an eternity. But none of us dared to look away. What I didn't seem to notice is how close our faced were to each other.

"You look so beautiful up close", she whispered while looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. No one's ever looked at me like that before and if I'm being honest, I was a little baffled at the honesty and sincerity in her eyes. Ugh, her eyes. They were so mysterious. Like there were a thousand of stories hidden behind them. And I wanted to know every single one of them.

"You always look beautiful", I answered with the most intense honesty I could. I wanted her to know how much I admired and appreciated her. But I don't think words were enough to explain.

She smiled at my words and a few seconds later I made a decision I didn't yet know I was going to regret or not. But I still decided to do it. So, I did. I inched my head a little closer to her while lifting my head a bit. I stopped a few inches before her because I wanted to give her the opportunity to pull away if she wanted to. To my surprise, she didn't move a bit. I wet my lips with my tongue and wanted to end what I started. Her not moving away gave me new confidence. So, I closed the gap there was between us, closed my eyes and then my lips finally met with her soft ones.

I didn't move and neither did she. I was scared that she'll pull away, screaming at me and rejecting me. But to my surprise, she still didn't move away and so I started to move my lips a bit. She didn't do the same at first but after a moment, she started to move her lips as well. And so, our lips were moving in sync now and it was the most magnificent feeling in the whole world. I fantasized about this moment a lot in the past few months but this, right here, felt better than I would've ever imagined.

I slowly cupped her face with my hands and brought her closer to me. The kiss started to grow in intensity, and she grabbed my waist. I subconsciously moved her to sit on top of me and our hands switched positions. Now she was the one grabbing my face with a force I didn't even know she had and mine were on her hips, bringing her impossibly closer to me. We were literally making our in the backseat of her car. I never thought I'd do that, ever. But here we were.

After a while of kissing each other, we pulled away and if I thought that Spencer laughing was the best sight in the world then I was wrong. Because now, her eyes were only half open, her pupils were dilated, and she was breathing heavily due to her lack of oxygen. It was the most arousing sight I've ever seen. We stared at each other intensely. She didn't make a move and neither did I. The only things that were moving were our chests. It was almost quiet in the car, the sounds of our heavy breathing being the only sound there was to hear.

After a moment, Spencer grabbed my neck once again and pushed her lips on mine. My grip on her waist tightened and she let out a small sound of pleasure. It was delightful. She grabbed my hair slightly which led to a moan escaping my mouth as well. Now she started to move her hips a bit and I couldn't complain about that because it felt really fucking good. But that beautiful and steamy moment was cut short due to Spencer practically leaping out of my lap to her side. I was shocked at this sudden movement, but I didn't dare say a thing. I mean, I clearly made her uncomfortable or else she wouldn't have done what she did, right?

We just sat there for a few seconds, breathing heavily and not saying anything. "Sor- Sorry", she stuttered out. I looked at her confused, "What are you sorry for? I mean, I should probably say sorry. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable with my actions", I said, not knowing what to do. I was really lost. "No, I mean, I'm sorry but I just can't do this." What the hell? The why the fuck did you kiss me back? "What exactly do you mean by that?" She looked at me like she knew that I knew what she meant. And I did know where she was headed. I just needed to hear her say it.

"You know what I mean"; she said, her head hanging low. "Yes, I do. I just want you to tell me." She looked like she didn't want to say it. But I wasn't going to give in. Like I said, I needed to hear it coming out of her mouth. And here comes the sentence I was most afraid of. "It's not like I can't do it. I can. I just... can't do this with you. It's just... I don't feel the same way, Angie. I don't have feelings for you, and I never will have feelings for you. Got it?" She was kind of growing aggravated. Why, you ask? I have no idea. But her voice became a little louder. The only thing I could answer to that was, "Okay. I understand", commented as calmly as I could. On the inside though, I was screaming and crying.

Spencer looked at me with wide eyes, like she wasn't expecting my answer at all. "What? You understand?" I looked at her with no life in my eyes, "Yes, I understand. I was expecting that actually." She squinted her eyes at me, not understanding. "Why would you say that?" I took a deep breath, a breath of agitation, "Bitch, please. How could someone as great, beautiful, and smart as you ever like someone like me. I'm just this, broken girl who lives in a trailer and has no money to go to college when she finishes school. So, yes, I understand that you don't feel the same way." She still had a confused look on her face. "I just want to know one thing", I said. She nodded her head slightly. "Why did you kiss me back if you don't feel the same way I do?", I asked her with a bit of desperation in my voice. I really needed an answer right now. Even though I know it'd hurt me. "Well...", she started, "it was a spur of the moment thing. I don't actually feel anything for you that goes beyond friendship. Actually, I'm really confused now, so, I need you to leave my car right now. Please." I nodded my head while chuckling. "Okay, Spencer. I will leave you alone. I can clearly sense of confusion going on inside you. If you want our friendship to go on, don't believe that I'll just forgive you that easily. And now, excuse me, but I really need to be alone right now", and with that, I left her car. It was pouring by now, but I just continued to walk. It didn't bother me at all, it actually made me feel better because, like this, no one could see the tears streaming down my face.