Gotham's Finest. Ace

Chapter Twelve

(Catwoman): Have fun at therapy, Kitty! That is literally what Selina said to me before leaving for another mission today. I seem to always have shit going on because I dont have much time to go with her anymore. Emma was busy doing some crossword puzzles when I walked in. Why the fuck is she doing a crossword? Damn, this office must be more exhausting for her than me. (Emma): So, Arkham did you ever worry about being sent there? (Ace): Actually yes. I used to be so afraid that the more shit I did, they would think I was completely insane and send me there (Emma): Is it because of Joker and Harley? (Ace): I will take that as a rhetorical question. Arkham seemed like it would eventually pull me in I used to think that maybe I was going crazy. Maybe it was because of the partying, robbing, and setting shit on fire when I was angry. Or it could just be because I came from two fucked up imbeciles. There were nights where I would have nightmares of being locked up in Arkham for life. The smell of the place is one of the things that are familiar to me, and I hate it. The people dont scare me. I will fuck those pathetic people up before they even think of touching me. What scares me is being locked in a place from which I wont be able to break out of forever. I know that Joker and Harley have broken out several times before but that is because they were sent there many times as well. Emma is busy speaking as usual, but I am in my own world at the moment. So much shit brought me to where I am today. Emma just asked me an annoying question, but I ask her to repeat it. (Emma): Would things have been any different if you had children of your own? (Ace): Why are you asking me this all of a sudden? (Emma): It is a valid question to ask. Would things change in any way if you were a mother? I never gave that a thought in my entire life. My own family? Having my own family? Is that even possible? (Ace): I never really pictured having my own family one day to be honest with you (Emma): Because of your past? (Ace): No after all of the fucked-up things that I have been through. It never occurred to me that I could have my own family one day or even meet someone who would love me enough to be part of my own family in the future It feels strange to think of me as a mother. Where would I even start? Where would we live? What job would I have? How would I raise them? Why would I even want to be a mother in the first place? Could I even have children? Who would be the father? Why am I asking all of these fucking questions? (Emma): Before you get lost in overthinking (Ace): Too late (Emma): Think about it one thing at a time (Ace): I am listening (Emma): Where have you always wanted to live? New York or London (Emma): What do you think is the perfect job for you? (Ace): Owning several billion-dollar companies in my name (Emma): Who would you want to be as the father? Like whom would he be like? (Ace): A smart and strong man. Who goes for what he wants and has a similar past to mine so he can understand me (Emma): So, he should be resilient like you? (Ace): Exactly (Emma): Well, that is the where? What? And who? Why would you want all of those things specifically? (Ace): To have a strong family and to be financially stable (Emma): Now how long are you going to wait before you get started on all of that? (Ace): Well, that is a question that can go fuck itself. How should I know? I wont just meet a guy and start a fucking family (Emma): I know but that does not mean that you will not meet him any time soon. Maybe you would meet him today or tomorrow. All I am asking is that when you finally do meet the right guy, will you be ready? (Ace): For kids? (Emma): For love I have never been a fan of that word. The last person that I loved tried to fucking kill me. Why would I ever love again? (Ace): How do you expect me to love again? Love has only ever turned into hate in my life (Emma): That only means that you dont trust that love could exist in your life (Ace): I agree with you (Emma): So, how do you expect to start a family when you dont trust the existence of love in your life? (Ace): What does love have to do with it? (Emma): I know that it is a scary thing to be vulnerable and just trust but the risk is worth it. If you dont take the risk, then how would you be able to even start a happy family? (Ace): I cant say that I have ever known one (Emma): Bullshit Someone has been reading the Ace dictionary. (Emma): I am sorry for that, but you cant say that you have no idea what a happy family looks like when you live in one. It might not be a normal type of a happy family, but it makes you happy. Selina and Pamela have been your family and you are happy together, right? (Ace): Yes, I guess. So? (Emma): So, how can you tell me that you dont know anything about a happy family? Blood has nothing to do with making a real family. Loyalty and trust makes you family. People might share DNA, but they are more likely to backstab and betray each other more than friends ever could (Ace): That might be true (Emma): You might not think of it that way but you do have a family. A great one. Two people that have supported you through so much in your life. It might be complicated and messy, but it is yours to have. Appreciate it while it is there because once its gone, you will never get it back (Ace): Thanks I walk out because she looked like she was on the verge of crying. I never know what to do when people start crying in front of me. Makes a person feel awkward and out of place. Geez.