Wait...Humans Need Air, Right? (Merstuck! DirkJake Fanfic)

8. Merfriends & Shit

It had been about a week since Jake and Dirk had first met. Each day they would go to the cave and talk, sometimes about their societies and lifestyles, sometimes about just random stuff, and sometimes they would just have fun in the water.

Jake was reminded that the world of merpeople was not all the great stuff you'd hear in a fairy tale; Their queen, her Imperious Condescension (AKA the Sea Bitch), was a horrible dictator that ruled over the entire underwater kingdom of Alternia. She enjoyed spilling as much blood as possible by making every crime punishable by death, even the small ones. And the merfolk survived only on raw fish, which everyone could agree TASTED LIKE SHIT.

It wasn't completely horrible, however.

A couple years back, a group of teenagers found a coral reef hidden from both the royal guards and the humans. They called the beautiful reef "Skaia" and now it was the place where teens could just hang out and not worry about death by the Condesce. Dirk and Dave spent a lot of time their with their friends, who seemed pretty cool to Jake.

There was Terezi, the blind legislacerator , Nepeta, the shipper cat(fish) mermaid, John, the nerdy merman that liked pulling pranks on everyone and some human guy called "Nick Cage", Rose, a sea witch with several tentacles instead of a tail, Kanaya, Rose's fashion-forward girlfriend, Feferi, the sea princess, Eridan, the noble-blooded douchebag the kept trying to get in a relationship with Feferi, Sollux, the lisping nerd that hated Eridan and had cool telekinetic powers, Aradia, Sollux's ex that liked adventure and death, and Vriska, the spider(crab) bitch.

Jake wanted to meet them all, be he couldn't for two reasons: 1. He wasn't a merman and couldn't go to the depths of the ocean without drowning, and 2. ONE OF THEM COULD TELL THE QUEEN AND THEN THEY'D ALL BE SCREWED.

Or at least that's what Dirk said.

(Jake knew he was probably overreacting, but it was better to be too careful than not careful enough.)

On the other hand, Dirk learned that the human world, though fascinating and different, wasn't exactly 'perfect', either; Sure, they had cool technologies, most of which couldn't be used underwater (humans used a thin material called "paper" to write notes and letters but it fell apart in water) but the actual creatures were often total assholes. They'd judge and harass a person by their skin color, gender, sexuality, race, or religion, sometimes going so far as to killing them. People would try to get help from the authorities (called, as Jake said, "Cops"), but they could be just as bad as the common people.

Of course, not every person was bad, like Jake and Jade and their grandma. In fact, a large majority of the humans in their small beach town was rather nice, according to Jade, although there were exceptions.

Dirk had just woken up and was about to eat a fish for breakfast then race off to see Jake when a familiar voice filled the cave.

"Going to see your boyfriend?"

Dirk turned around to see Dave sitting up, eyebrows raised in amusement.

Dirk rolled his eyes as he grabbed a fish from the fish pile. "Jake's not my boyfriend," he said, biting the head off the fish and then spitting it out because the heads tasted the worst.

"You never answered my question."

Dirk scowled, adjusting his shades as he took another bite of fish. (Yes he did sleep with them on.) "As a matter of fact, no. I was going to head over to Skaia to see if anyone we knew was there."

Dave smirked. "Why? Was Jake busy?" He asked in a mocking tone.

Dirk glared at him and threw the remainder of his dead fish at his younger brother.