Wait...Humans Need Air, Right? (Merstuck! DirkJake Fanfic)

17. Shenanigains On Land

By the time the teens reached the bustling beach city, the Striders had mastered the art of walking to the point where they could walk on their own a few yards without falling on their faces.

Jake searched above the crowds, looking for the small pizza parlor. "Hmm... Egad! Where could that bloody pizza parlor be?!? We'll never find it in this crowd-"

"Is it this place behind us with the large triangle sign?" Dirk interrupted.

Jake spun around. Behind them, a small restaurant sat, a huge, pizza-shaped sign hanging above it.

"Yep, that's it, Dirk."

The four went to go enter the restaurant, but were stopped by a 5-foot-something, muscled, snobbish-looking man that stood at the entrance.

"You can't come in," He stated in a gruff voice.

Dave scoffed, "Why not?"

"Can't you punk kids read?!?" He pointed to a sign on the door. "No shoes, no shirt, no service." He then proceeded to slam the door in the teens' faces.

"Well, that guy was just a ball of sunshine and rainbows, wasn't he?" Dirk remarked sarcastically.

Jade groaned, "That's Jack. Every time we've come to this place, he's stood there, refusing to let random people in for the silliest of reasons. He doesn't even work there!! Jake and I are convinced that he simply exists to make everyone's live shittier."

"I see. So what can we do about it?"

"Well for starters," Jake started, grabbing Dirk's wrist and dragging him off, "we should get you blokes some more clothes."

"Like the stuff that douche said we didn't have?"

"Precisely."

They waited for Jade and Dave to catch up, after which they walked a few blocks to a small store. There were lots of mannequins wearing fashionable clothes in the window display. A large sign above the shop read, "Paint" in colorful letters.

Jake led the other three into the store, a little bell ringing as he opened the door. There were a few other shoppers, and a short, pale woman with a pink headscarf sat behind the checkout counter.

The woman smiled brightly. "Welcome! You can call me Ms. Paint, and I hope you find everything you're looking for today! Let me know if you need any help finding anything!"

Jade said that they would and thanked her before heading towards the men's section with the boys.

They looked around for a few minutes before the Striders picked out a pair of T-shirts. Dave's was a rich red color with a gear-shaped symbol on the front in a darker red. Dirk's was a dusty pink with a pinkish-purple heart design on it.

The two also picked out a pair of flip-flops for each of them; Dave's were red, and Dirk's were orange.

The teenagers brought their things to the checkout counter and Ms. Paint rang them up. Once Jake had paid her, the Striders put on their new clothes and they left the store, ready to try the pizza place again.

As they approached the entrance to the restaurant, the douche known as Jack blocked their path once again. He snapped, "Hey, didn't I tell you brats to scram?!?"

Dirk stared him dead in the eyes. "While that may be true sir, you DID say that we couldn't come in because we didn't have a shirt or shoes. But now we're wearing everything we need to wear, so we can come in." The others nodded in agreement.

Jack was about to retaliate, but an man in his early 40s, presumably the owner of the establishment, yelled, "How many times to I have to tell you, Noir?! YOU DO NOT WORK HERE!!! Stop loitering before I call the cops again!!"

Grumbling under his breath, something about 'meddling kids', Jack Noir reluctantly left his position outside the door.

The owner smiled at the kids sheepishly. "Sorry for any trouble he may have cause you. He really doesn't get that he's not welcome here."

"Oh, he was no trouble at all," Jade assured him with a wave of her hand, as the small group entered the pizza shop.

Dave muttered under his breath, "Yeah,  that's the understatement of the year."

They all sat down at a round table in the middle of the restaurant. Jake took a random glance at the clock; it was 12:00 P.M. AKA noon.

The foursome chatted aimlessly about their lives and important events in their species' world. When it crashes time to order and the waitress asked what they would like on their pizza, the Strider brothers said, in unison, "Anything but fish," causing all the Harley-English kids and the waitress to laugh whole-heartedly. They ended up getting a large pizza, half covered with just cheese, the other half with sausage on it.

When the waitress left, Jake asked Dirk, "So, about this whole human thing.... Is it permanent?"

"Nah, just about 3 hours."

"And how long have you guys been humans?"

"Judging by the position of the sun," Dave stated, "I'd say about half an hour. So that would leave about another 2 and a half hours of humanity."

Before anyone else could add into the conversation, a loud, panicked, "WHAT THE SHIT?!?" filled the restaurant. When the teens turned to the source of it, they could not believe their eyes.

It came from Karkat, who was sitting at a small table in a corner of the room, with his brother Kankri and someone else. Karkat was slack-jawed and sported a look of utter disbelief. Kankri looked just as surprised.

Karkat got up from his chair and quickly made his way towards their table and stared at the Striders. The Striders stared back. Clearly, they weren't expecting any other humans to recognize them.

After a few more moments of staring, Karkat finally spoke again.

"What the FUCK happened to you two!?!??"

"We took a weird potion that made us human."

Karkat nodded.

"So, is it, like, permanent, or some shit?"

Dave waved him off.

"Nah, just for another 2 and a half hours."

"Oh. Cool." He kinda stood there awkwardly for a second before asking, "Mind if we sit here?"

"Not at all," Jake replied cheerfully.

Karkat turned towards Kankri and the other guy and motioned for them to come over. He then sat down in one of the table's empty seats himself.

As the other two approached, the Striders recognized the other guy immediately. He was pretty tall, probably over 6 feet. His chocolate brown hair was heavily slicked back with what was most likely an entire tube of hair gel. He wore a white t-shirt with a purple Aquarius symbol on it and knee-length jean shorts. And on the right side of his forehead, there were two little scars that almost matched the sign on his shirt.

As he and Kankri sat in two other empty chairs at the table Dave said, with a hint of harshness in his voice, "It's been a while."

The new guy stared at him, and then and Dirk, clearly surprised.

"Yeah," Dirk added.

"Long time, no see, Cronus."

A/N; HELLOOOO!!!!!! Yes, I'm leaving it at a bit of a cliffhanger. I need to have something to write about in the next chapter! Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this. To all the people that read this and like Steven Universe, I could REALLY use some ideas for my SUstuck fanfiction if you wanna check that out. I might be busy this week, but I assure you all, you won't have to wait two weeks again.  That's all for this update!! See you next week!!! PCHOOOOO!!!!!
                    -CC