Wait...Humans Need Air, Right? (Merstuck! DirkJake Fanfic)

3. Holy. Fucking. Mackerel.

"JAAAAAKE!!! BREAKFAST!!!!"

Jake awoke with a start and nearly fell off the bed. Luckily, he managed to stop himself at the edge, saving his glasses from getting crushed by his body weight.

He waited for a moment, needing to catch his breath for a moment. When he was sure he was fine, he sat up, put on his glasses, and checked his surroundings. He was a bit confused for a moment, not remembering where exactly he was. And then he remembered; He was at the new house.

Mentally slapping himself for being so stupid, he got up and trudged over to the box marked "Clothes". He pulled out a pair of beige shorts (90% of his shorts were beige), a white t-shirt with a green skull on it (most of his shirts had green skulls on them) and a green shirt he tended to wear over another shirt because it made him feel like an adventurer. And if there was one thing Jake English loved, it was adventure.

He absently walked down the stairs, remembering some of his old adventures back on the island, and had entered the kitchen before he knew it, where is grandma was cooking bacon. Hmm, he thought, Grandma must've bought food. Well, that would explain why we didn't just order a pizza or something.

Grandma looked over from her cooking and smiled warmly. "Good morning, Jake, would you like some breakfast? I'm just finishing up now."

Jake grinned. "Thanks, Grandma. That is quite thoughtful of you." He paused for a moment. "Where are the plates again?"

"In the box marked, 'Plates & Silverware'."

He slid over to the box and rummaged around for a while, eventually pulling out a plate, a fork, and a knife. He then noticed the many plates lining the edge of the counter. One was filled with pancakes, another with eggs, and yet another with sausages and bacon. As he began to pile his plate up with food, Jade walked in, wearing a long-sleeved shirt with an atom on it and a long white skirt. Her long, black hair was wet and slightly dripping, so Jake figured she had just taken a shower.

Upon seeing her brother, Jade grinned. "Good morning, Jake! Sleep well?"

"Good morning, Jade. Yes, quite soundly. Would you like me to get you some breakfast?"

"Jake, I'd love some, but I'm pretty sure I'm fully capable of getting my own breakfast," Jade giggled, grabbing a plate, a knife, and a fork from the box and began pilling up food as Jake finished with his.

He brought his plate over to a table that was set in the middle of the dining room, though there were no chairs at it. Hmm, I guess they never unpacked the chairs yesterday while I was gone, Jake thought as he sat on the floor under the table (because he felt like it; it seemed logical to him) and ate silently.

About halfway through a pancake, Bec padded over and began to sniff the food. Jake narrowed his eyes at the white-furred dog and shoved him away.

"No, Bec, this is my food."

No sooner than he had been pushed away did Bec return and tried to snag a piece of bacon. Again, Jake had to push him away, telling him, "NO, Bec. This is MY FOOD, not BEC'S FOOD, OKAY?"

Bec sat right beside him, making his lime green eyes huge and puppy-like. The adventurer teen tried to ignore him, but was soon convinced. Sighing, Jake removed a piece of bacon from his plate and held it out to the dog.

"Fine, if you insist, you old mutt."

Bec snatched the bacon from his hand and trotted off happily. Watching the smug dog walk away, he stabbed his fork into some pancake, muttering under his breath, "Egad! All that malarkey for a piece of friggin' bacon..."