Wait...Humans Need Air, Right? (Merstuck! DirkJake Fanfic)

15. Humanstuck

Dirk sighed and stared at the ceiling of the cave as he laid on the floor. He was completely and utterly bored. He removed his shades, ru bed his face tiredly, and put the shades back on. He turned his head to look at Dave, who was also lying on the floor, looking back at him.

"Bored?"

"Yep."

"Wanna do something?"

"Yep."

"Like what?"

"Wanna see the Harley-Englishes?"

"Nah, we always do that."

"True."

There was about 5 minutes of silence.

"Ya'know, yesterday I was talking with Jade."

"Your girlfriend?"

"Fuck off, you hypocrite. Don't even make me bring up Jake. Anyway, we were talking about how weird it would be if I were a human."

"Pfft. Of course it would be weird. If someone all of a sudden changes their fucking species, then it's obviously gonna feel weird."

"Think about it though," Dave continued, rolling onto his stomach. "If we were desperate enough, we could just go over to Rose's place and get her to give us legs!"

"Like the creepy sea witch in that movie Jake showed us?"

"Exactly like her, except less creepy and evil and old."

Dirk rolled over onto his stomach, clearly lost in thought. "We could go up on land and surprise Jake and Jade."

Dave grinned mischievously, commenting, "That sounds fun."

"Shall we pay our dear friend Miss Lalonde a visit?"

"Oh hell yes."

---------------(a few minutes later)----------

"No."

"What? Why the hell not, Rose? We all know your capable of it," Dirk argued.

"It's a very dangerous spell and it's not worth being able to surprise the humans for fun," Rose pointed out, crossing her arms. The Striders had arrived at her cave not even 5 minutes prior, and they would not stop bugging her for a spell to make them human. Her cave was like the boys', with a large fish pile in a corner. Some differences included multiple shelves lined up on the walls, covers in spellslabs (slabs of rock used document magic and spells) and a large cauldron-shaped...thingy in the middle of the cave.

"How do you even know it's so dangerous? Have you even done it before?" Dave pushed.

Rose sighed. She muttered, "Yes."

The oddly-colored eyes of the Strider brothers widened beneath their shades. That was not the answer they were expecting.

"What...what happened to them?" Dirk managed to get out.

"It was about a year ago, and this one merman came up to me and asked me to do this. Naturally, I refused, but he was a desperate one, and after about a week of complaining and grouching and following me around everywhere, I finally gave in. I did the spell, told him the restrictions of the spell, and he swam off. I haven't seen or heard from him since, but if he's still alive, if assume he's a human."

Dave still wasn't satisfied. "Who exactly was this guy, anyway?"

Rose didn't answer. She merely sighed again and began shoving the Striders out of her home. "I'm going to have to ask you two to leave now. I'm very busy and have many things to do."