Wait...Humans Need Air, Right? (Merstuck! DirkJake Fanfic)

21. KARKAT DOES STUFF

(I swear if I see any of you making those "(insert character) is 'stuff'" jokes....I know you're thinking of it. >:p )

Karkat yawned and tried to sit up and stretch, but because of his awkward sleeping position, instead fell off his bed.

This, of course, was announced to the household by a long, loud string of swears.

Once the immediate pain had dulled down, he sat up from the floor and stretched his tired muscles.

"Karkat, are you okay?" Kankri's voice came from down the hall.

"YES. GO AWAY."

Kankri didn't make some snide remark about how his comment was disrespectful, which could be "triggering to some people", so Karkat could assume he actually listened for once in his life.

Still riddled with sleepiness, Karkat slowly began getting dressed and generally preparing to start his day. He was going to meet Dave at the beach. Jade said she might come, but she might have to help her brother and grandma with something, and told them not to wait for her if she was late.

He could hear Kankri and their dad arguing as he slipped into a sweater and shorts. He rolled his eyes as he slipped on a pair of red flip flops. This always happened.

Ever since Cronus and Kankri had Stratton going out, Mr. Vantas had become extremely strict in terms of what Kankri was allowed to do. It wasn't the fact that he was gay; he just thought Cronus was a bad influence on his son; probably smoking, was probably part of a biker gang, probably forcing his son into premarital sex.

Karkat knew none of that was true. Cronus didn't smoke or take part in gangs; he just liked that "50's/Grease" athestetic. And everyone and their mother knew Kankri was ace (except for Mr. Vantas, apparently), and Cronus loved him enough to not force him to do things he didn't want to do.

Sure, Cronus was a little odd, but he wasn't a bad person.

Which was exactly the point Kankri tried to make every time he and their dad argued. But Mr. Vantas would have none of it. He firmly believed that anyone who dressed like a "hooligan" was bound to act like one, too.

Karkat, backpack in hand, slinked down the stairs as the argument continued in the living room.

Not paying attention to whatever Kankri had gotten himself into this time, he snatched a few apples from a nearby fruit bowl, grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, slipped his snacks into his backpack, scribbled a quick note on a post-it, and left the house unnoticed.

As he began his trek to the beach, he decided to take some time to reevaluate his entire life, as you do.

He was on his way to meet a merman. Like AN ACTUAL GODDAMN MERMAN. It sounded crazy, yet it was true. It was like he was living in a poorly-written fanfiction or something like that. That's.....kind of insane.

Not to mention he was not just friends with said merman, but BEST FRIENDS. HIS BEST FRIEND WAS A MERMAN.

And on top of all that, HIS MERMAN BESTIE WAS ASKING HIM FOR LOVE ADVICE.

Every time Karkat told himself, "Well, it's not like things can escalate from here, right?", they escalated so far, you almost couldn't see how it had been prior to escalating.

Before he knew it, he had arrived on the familiar beach; hot, sandy, and despite living in a beach town full of sweaty tourists, empty. It was the weirdest thing.