Wait...Humans Need Air, Right? (Merstuck! DirkJake Fanfic)

2. Meanwhile in the Ocean....

Dirk Strider was a merman. If you were to call him a mermaid, he probably would try to drown you. He didn't get what was so hard to understand; mermaids were girls, mermen were dudes, end of the fucking story.

Anyway, Dirk Strider was not only a merman, but her was a merman in a fuck-ton of trouble. Why? He may or may not have started a fight with another merman, whom was stealing from an elderly mermaid. Seriously, a majority of merpeople were real assholes.

He, as well as the thief, were currently being escorted by guards to the castle of Her Imperious Condescension, the Queen of the ocean. That wouldn't seem so bad, if the Condesce wasn't a real bitch who believed everyone was below her, partially because they were, and if she didn't have a tendency to kill a majority of the merpeople who entered the castle.

Dirk sighed heavily. Although the Condesce could be negotiated with, it was extremely difficult to do so. He just hoped Feferi was there to help him out a bit.

Dirk was friends with the Condesce's daughter, Feferi, who was much nicer and never really tried to kill people. She usually was able to get her mom to not kill people she thought were innocent, though she did occasionally fail to be convincing enough.

A heavy shove from one of the guards broke Dirk from his thoughts. "Alright, alright, I'm going," he muttered irritatedly, adjusting his shades (which he had found on the sea floor one day many years before) as the castle came into view. He gulped a little in nervousness.

What if Feferi isn't there? He thought as some more guards pushed the large castle doors open, leading to a long hallway which probably led to the Condesce's throne room. Or if she is, what if she can't get me out of this mess? What would happen to Dave?

Dave was Dirk's thirteen year old brother, who made awful music with him and also wore shades he found, but for a different reason. (He claimed they were to be ironic, but in reality, he didn't want to show anyone his weird red eyes.) Although he was pretty tough, there was no way he would be able to survive on his own.

Dirk's thoughts were interrupted once again by the doors to the throne room being opened loudly. In the middle-back part of the room, stood a huge fuchsia throne, covered in black decal, and a similar one on the right, only much smaller. In the large throne sat a large mermaid with a fuck-ton of thick, curly blonde hair, a thick dark fuchsia tail, a simple black top, and a smirk painted upon her face. The smaller throne sat Princess Feferi, who looked a lot like her mother, only she was smaller, wore a black choker necklace with a seahorse pendant on it, and had an overall more cheery appearance.

"Well, well, well," the Condesce said slyly, "what have we here?"

One of the guards spoke harshly, "Your Highness, these two were fighting and causing a ruckus in from of elderly merfolk." He then proceeded to explain more thoroughly what had happened, according to an eye witness; Dirk was swimming past a group of people, mainly elderly mermaids, but that was nothing particularly suspicious. Then, the thief had swam over, and inconspicuously snatched a few sand-dollars from one of the old mermaids' purses. She didn't seem to notice, but Dirk did, and called out the thief. The thief tried to deny it, but Dirk wouldn't buy it, and tried to retrieve the stolen money. The other guy then punched Dirk in the face, and a fight sprung up. By some fucking miracle, when the guards finally pulled them apart, Dirk was barely injured, aside from a few scratches, but the other guy had a black eye and a slightly bloody nose, as well as several bruises.

When the guard had finally finished talking, the Condesce turned to Dirk, causing a shiver of fear to go down his spine.

"Is this true?" She asked sweetly, although anyone with ears could hear the slight snarkiness behind it.