Strawberries And Cigarettes

33

Vulcan’s POVs are up ahead!

Enjoy!

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I am broke. We bumped. We we’re classmates.

She’s annoying. Talkative. Noisy. But she’s the only person who color my personal life.

She courted me, I know kabaliktaran from what we used to hear and see. I ignored her. What else could I do? I am broke at the moment for the marriage of my brother and the woman I love. But she’s persistent. Kinukulit niya ako to the point na hindi ko namamalayang nagbabangayan na kami.

I made myself a wall. A wall that only me can destroy. But she managed to enter the wall without destroying it. I know I am a handful for her. She’s exerting effort but I just look at her like she’s not that important to me. But the truth is she is more than important to me. I just don’t realize it sooner and didn’t know how to tell her.

I thought she can keep up with my not so good behavior, but it turns out I’m wrong. She stop courting me. Every time we see each other she ignores me. Every time we had a groupings she’s just there, sitting silently in the corner like we didn’t know each other. Like I didn’t exist in this world. Like I am just a mere wind she doesn’t see.

I thought that my heartbreak with Brianna is the worst but I didn’t imagine that her silence and her, ignoring me, feels more worst. I felt pain when kuya told me that he and Brianna are going to marry each other but it pained me the most knowing that I am nothing to her already. That her days of being crazy over me is already gone.

It takes time before I realize that I need her in my life. That’s the moment that I heard someone’s courting her already. That’s the moment I need to make my move and make her mine. Kaya hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa. I made my move. I courted her. I proved myself to her. Until she’s satisfied that I am also into her.

I experienced the feeling being in a cloud nine. The feeling that I don’t know I will feel and I don’t want to loose. We live happily….but not ever after. Not like a fairytale that my girl cousins loves to watch since we we’re kids. I forgot that I have this big secret that I intend not to tell her. I forgot that she hates secrets. I planned to keep it a secret from her but it’s still spurted out. It still reach her ears.

I trust her love. I prayed that she will listen to me. To my explanations. To give me a chance to prove myself that I am not in love with Brianna anymore. But I should have known better. She didn’t listen because she’s in pain. She leave me…alone in our home where we build too many memories.

I feel lost. I thought she’s going to have a second thought about leaving me alone in our house—in our home, but I’m wrong. Totally wrong. Kasi walang lingong-likod niya akong iniwan sa bahay. Sa bahay na walang saysay kapag wala siya.

“What does a Del Franco doing here in a daylight?”

He look at me with no emotion in his eyes before he answer my question, no scratch that, before he ask me the same question. “Why does the great Vulcan Natividad is here in a broad daylight?”

I sit in the stool beside him in the bar counter without asking his permission.

“One bottle of whiskey James,” I order before I let out a loud breath. “The same reason why you’re here in a broad daylight.”

Binalingan niya ako na may kunot-noo pagkatapos niyang tunggain ang alak na nasa boteng hawak niya.

“She left? How come? You two look just fine last time I saw you.”

“She didn’t came back?” I change the topic. I don’t want to answer his questions. It still pains me.

Who wouldn’t? It’s just two weeks since she left and I don’t have a news about her ever since.

“Is it for me or you’re asking yourself?”

“For you idiot.”

He raised his middle finger before he drank his drink. “Fuck you man. I’m just making sure before I answer.”

“Here’s your one bottle of whiskey sir Vulcan.”

“Thank you. Anyway, where’s your boss?”

Hesitation is visible in his eyes but still  he answered. “May ka-meeting po siya sa office niya po sir.”

“Meeting sa office? A woman?”

Pilit ang tangong ibinigay niya kaya hindi na lang ako nag-usisa pa. Valmond never invite a woman inside his office in his bar without a hidden agenda.

“Okay. By the way, can I connect to your speakers? Ang tahimik ng bar. Hindi ako sanay.”

James just chuckled after he heard Wencel comment on what I said. “Anong oras ba ngayon sa tingin mo Vulcan? Of course tahimik pa ngayon kasi may araw pa. Stupid Natividad.”

“Shut up! I don’t need your opinion.”

Pinaandar ni James lahat ng speakers bago ako hinayaan sa gusto ko.

“So? She didn’t came back?” I ask the question for the second time around.

“She did…but leave again.” Malayo ang tinging sagot niya. “How about you? Did you two…broke up?”

I drank my whiskey before I answer him. “She found out who’s Brianna in my life.”

“That sucks. Hindi ka niya pinakinggan, tama ba?” I just nod at his question before I drank my bottle of whiskey.

“Mga babae nga naman. They have the power to question your worth. They have the power to lower your confidence. Fuck it!” Hinayaan ko lang siyang ilabas ang saloobin niya. I’ve been friends with him years ago and I know what he need. He just need someone who will listen to his shit and his heartbreaks. “Am I not worth for her to stay? Hindi pa ba sapat na mahal ko siya, mahal niya ako para manatili siya? Hell!...I don’t allow anyone to step on me like a garbage except my cousins and grandma pero siya? Huh!” nakangisi man, bakas pa rin sa mga mata niyang nasasaktan siya. “She left like I am just a nobody to her. Like I am just a garbage na pwede niyang balikan at iwanan ulit. Fuck this heart for loving her unconditionally. Fuck myself for letting her make me feel this way. Fuck this love.” Walang sere-seremonyang tinungga niya ang alak ng hawak niyang bote. Hindi siya huminto hangga't hindi nangangalahati ang laman nito.