Bella Twins Teen Years: High School Sucks

In The End (Stephanie Nicole)

Nicole's POV
Yes. I really tried to end it, all of it. I was so sick of everything. I lost my dream and then Brie made it worse for agreeing to play in my spot. No one really liked me what's the point I thought. I told Brie how I felt. How I was done and my life was pointless. She cried and hugged me. I wanted her to do it too. She wouldn't. That made me mad. It made me feel like she won't miss me. I felt like she didn't care or like me that much. She slept in my bed a held me close to her. I had a hard time getting out from her grip. After I did I left our room. I was about to walk to our bathroom to try again and JJ came out if his room. Can we talk about what happened? I thought he meant with me. What?! I said. Then I remembered it was Brie. Oh yeah. I said. I went into his room. We talked a little I told him what that stupid cunt said to Brie. I hate that Brie was there. He said. Why would they say that she was having such a hard time and she almost better. I realized what he said. Why'd you say what you said, J ? It's not that much different. That girl said mess up stuff just like you did. I said. Get out! He yelled. I already told you I felt like this thing was my fault! Sorry. I said. It was so mean though. I can't imagine telling someone definitely not my sister to...He punched me really hard. I hate you. I wish the girl said it to you instead of Brianna! He yelled. Ow! Your an asshole. I said. What he said to me really hurt my feelings and I left and went to the bathroom. I was done this time for good. I stood in there and looked at myself. Everyone hates me. I said to myself. I'm a stupid worthless, slutty, careless bitch. I said. No one could hate me more then me. I hate myself so much I could scream. So I'll kill myself. No I'll sleep forever and I won't have to deal with this shit. That's all. I went to the bottom of our bathroom closet and got some bleach. I went in the closet and got a bottle of pills. I didn't know what I was doing but I wanted to die and this stuff would kill me. I dumped the pills into my hand and opened the bleach. I'm going to do it and this time it will work. I said. Then, Brie barged in the bathroom. NICOLE NO! She screamed so fucking loud. Get the fuck out. I said. No! She ran towards me and tried to get the pills I put the bleach down so I could push her away. Get off me! Leave! I yelled. Why are you doing this? She asked. I hate not playing soccer there's no reason to live the rest of my life is awful! I'M SO FUCKING DEPRESSED! I screamed. Please we can talk again. Brianna said she was crying and at this point so was I. No! I haven't wanted to wake up for so many weeks. I hate home and school! I don't have another choice! I yelled. Why are you doing this to me? I just got home this is the worst thing you could possibly do! She yelled. You know I need you! She said still trying to open my hand. The world's not all about Brianna you selfish bitch! I yelled. We were just yelling, crying and screaming after that. Then, Brie scratched my hand and it hurt. The pills flew all over the bathroom. Look what you did! You stupid bitch! I hate you! I screamed. Just then my mom came in she saw what happened. I was bawling my eyes out. She grabbed and hugged me tightly. She tried to... Brianna couldn't finish talking she was crying too hard. Brianna I know go in my room please. My mom said. Brie left. Why Nicole? Is something going on? Yes! I yelled. I ran out of the bathroom. I pulled out scissors from the hall draw, opened them and held the blade toward my neck. Stephanie Nicole put the scissors down! My mom yelled. She looked scared. No. I said. You would not care if I died. You called me a careless bitch. I'm sorry Stephanie I really am I love you so much. I would care. I would be so upset if you did that. I won't be okay. You're my child. She was crying a little. How do you think I felt when you said I was a bitch, twice? I lowered the scissors. I'm sorry mom. I said. You should be. We need talk in my room now. She said. We walked in Brie was fake sleeping. I saw her open her eyes and close them. What's wrong? It can't just be our small argument. I stared at her for about a minute. Talk Stephanie. Is it school? Is it me? Are you doing drugs again? Do you need to go back to rehab? Sometimes people have to go back. Please Stephanie I want to help you. No I'm okay just PMSing. I said. What? I'm fine just... no I heard you. My mom said. That's not it. This is not what girls and women do when they are PMSing and I think you know that. It's a really crazy month. I said. No. My mom said. I'm not excepting that as an answer you tried to kill yourself! We are talking first thing tomorrow morning. Get in my bed. She said. I can sleep in my own room. No! Get in my bed now! She yelled. I did. I laid next to my mom and Brie. I waited until they were both really asleep. I had other idea. I got up quietly. I went to my room. I went were Brie hides her blades. I actually saw her get one out and cut herself that afternoon which was sad. I pulled out her biggest one. I put the note I had written a while ago on Brie's pillow. I went to the bathroom. Filled up the tub with water. I didn't take off of my clothes. If someone did find me they didn't need to see me naked. I got in the tub. I cut my wrist and the cut was really deep. That's how I wanted it but it really hurt. How does Brie do this? Blood started to drip in the water. I cut deep again and again. Soon it didn't hurt it was just a weird feeling. I was helping I didn't feel as numb and I had control of it. I was so light headed. Brie ran in the bathroom. I looked at her she looked at me. She had my note. She was crying. You are not doing this alone. She said. It's too much. I said. I know. She said. Should we...I started. Right now together. She said. Brie went the closet and got another thing of bleach and drank it. She she handed it to me. I'm sorry Brianna for anything mean I ever said to you. I love you. I'm sorry for things I've said to you and I love you too. She said. I drank some and cut my wrist again and Brie cut herself too. I felt light headed to the point where I couldn't see. It's over the pain is over. I fell back in the water and then darkness.