Bella Twins Teen Years: High School Sucks

Tears fall on there own (Brie)

Brie's POV
I felt like I was suffocating. They were sending me to hell. My mom was helping me after my accident. I was so embarrassed. I didn't know if I fell asleep I would shit non stop until I woke up if you took that medicine. I felt awful and like I had no energy. She left to get me some clean clothes. I found some nail clips and used them to cut my my arm near my veins. All I saw was red. I stared to gush blood. It's working I thought. I was done I was going to die. There are was nothing to really use. So I took the string out of me sweat shirt hood. Tied it around my neck tightly. Then attached it to the handle bar on the wall. I walked forward till I could barely breath well that was the plan. It didn't work well. My mom came in and told me to stop. I said make me. She saw my arm. She told my sister to call the doctor. My mom took the string from around my neck. The doctor came in and my mom told them everything. She has to go upstairs. The doctor said. I fell on the bathroom floor and started screaming. I wasn't going. I didn't need to be with people who are nuts. My mom said I was going and it was at six o'clock in the fucking morning. We left the bathroom and It got worse she found my diet journal, which is really intense to read and personal unless your me. My mom read it and was crying so much she could barely breath. I felt a little bad, but then she ripped it and put it in the trash. That made me mad. I'm not going now. I hate you. I said. Then, flipped her off. Yes you are Brianna! She slapped me it actually hurt. That's disgusting there's something wrong! If you hate me fine I'm still going to try my best to help you because I love you. Happiness is a choice. Your choosing to be upset all the time Brianna. Lay down we have to get up at 6am. I didn't really hate her I was just mad. I could not believe she said that. I was "happy" all summer and it made me feel like shit. Like I was in a cage and people didn't know. I really tried to hide it after that but everyone found out. Not like it's different but now I get responses like I'm leaving you to be miserable I can't be like that (you) but stay strong and happiness is a choice. Please please be happy while we watch you suffer and don't do shit. Plus not helping me and not caring that much is a fucking choice. Happiness is not when your depressed. So is being perfect. That's what I was going to I'll be happy then. I went to sleep because I felt so sick.
Brianna wake up. My mom said. It's time to go. No! I yelled. Yes Brianna. Get up put on your slippers and we can go. Fine! I yelled. Can you be quite? Nicole's still asleep. Oh is she? I said. I walked over to her. Get up bitch! I yelled. She groaned. I'm going up now! Why are you so mean and loud. I'm pissed. I said. Fine I'll come up with you. She mumbled. She hugged me. The doctor came in to walk me there. Come on. I said to Nicole. I grabbed her hand. Nicole's not coming. My mom said. Which is why I wanted her to keep sleeping until I take her home. What why? I said. The rules are strict the doctor said. You'll see. I won't go unless I'm with Nicole. I said. Nicole was crying. Brianna I can't go. She said. She hugged me I hugged her back. I'll call you tonight. I swear or you can call me. I love you. Bye. She said. I love you and I'm not leaving. I said. So my mom pulled me up and practically dragged me and we left. When we got there we went in a door. It close shut. I tried to open it. It was locked I couldn't leave this place was scaring. Brianna stop. Your here now. You can't leave. My mom said. We went to the front and the lady told us to wait and the nurse would be out shortly. She was out really fast. You can come back Brianna. She said. Alright my mom and I went back. My mom filled out papers I did some basic test. My mom was finished. It's time to go to your room. I expected my mom to come too. Bye Brianna. I love you. She said. I want you to come. I said. That's not how it works, I have to go. No! I yelled. She hugged me. I'll see you on your visiting day and I'll call you. This will and has to be over soon Brianna tell them what's wrong with you. Promise me. I love you. She said. I promise. I love you too. I said. I went up with the nurse. A doctor was in the room with a bag. Can you please remove all your clothes and put them in this bag the doctor said. All of them? I said. Take everything off, but don't put your underwear in the bag. The nurse said. I did it because I was scared. The doctor had a clip board with an outline of person on it. They were talking in low voices and circling were I had hurt myself. This place was really intense. Can you squat and cough for me Brianna. There's nothing up there I said quickly while shaking. I was so scared. I was standing there naked with two strangers. It's not a choice. The doctor said. Squat and cough! He seemed annoyed. So I did it. It was the most embarrassed and uncomfortable. I had ever done. Put on these hospital clothes and you can eat breakfast with the other girls. I don't like eating with other people. I said. Well I guess you'll learn to like it because that's want your going to do for every meal here. You can't make me. I said not really thinking. Really?! He said loudly. I'll go. I said. That's want I thought. You'll fit in fine there all brats just like you. He left. Your not a brat. The nurse said he's just in a bad mood. Here's your eating chart. She put it up in my room. You need to be at least 95lbs In five days which it's not really where I want you so let's get a little higher then that. and around 105-110 to leave maybe lighter it depends. I almost threw up. 105?! Nope not me that's fat. Can I call my sister? No. I'm sorry you have two five minute calls a day. I almost passed out. I have to talk to Nicole way more then that. Let's go you can't be late for your meals that's the other thing you need to be on a good schedule. We went in there were four girls sitting at a table. Five if you count me. This is your group. The two ladies over there watch to make sure you eat. The nurse said. Girls this is Brianna. Hi. They said. Hi. I said. You can sit down and I'll see you later. Okay. I said. I sat down. The first two meals the girls didn't talk to me that much and those ladies were really annoying. They kept saying stop doing that with you food Brianna. I was just moving it because it tasted nasty, but there bullshit rule is you have to eat it anyway. At dinner one girl started talking to me. Hi. She said. Hey. I said. Your Emma right? I learned everyone's name in group. Yes. She said. You room 02 right? She said. Yes. I said. I'll be in at 2:30am. Why? I said you'll see.
She did come in at 2:30am come with me. She said. We walked in to a big bathroom. Two others from our group were there. Why are we here? I asked. To excise, puke, and talk about things we can't share in group. There's alcohol under the floor boards if you want some. She said. Okay. I said. Are you a puker? She asked. Yeah a little. Good. She said. Can I? I asked. Yes. She said. You want me to go first? She said. No I'll go. I said. I got most of my dinner shockingly and some blood. I flushed. Then Emma did the same. After that we started excising. Are those cuts on your wrist one girl Eve said. Um... I felt embarrassed. It's okay we all have them but why are some weird looking. Eve! Emma said. I was wondering. I used nail clips that's why. I said. That's not a bad idea but they don't let us have anything that can be used to hurt yourself here. I fucking hate myself. She said. What would they do if they found me dead? I said. I don't know but if they found you tried and your still alive they will strap you to your bed for a day which is really bad. Don't say your going to or want kill yourself in group either the same thing will happen. Oh shit! That's scaring I said. Yeah. You can work off all your weight by doing this. Emma said. Where's the other girl from group? I said. Paige. Off being a fat whore. She's leaving tomorrow. Emma said. She'll be back Eve said. Why? Because once you leave you don't have to eat. This is like her third time leaving. This is my second. My parents are stupid. They think this place fixes people with ED it does not. Ed's My best friend but, part of me wishes I wasn't like this. I said. Best friend yeah normally that's my only friend why would I want it not to exist. She said. She felt the same way I did.
I mean my mom, brother, and my sister are so upset. You care? She said. Of course I care. They want yo to be fat. Emma said. Your almost perfect why stop for them? Is your sister Stephanie Nicole? Charlotte said. Another girl form my group.
Yeah. How do you know her. She was at the place where I play soccer. I was there too watch the coach won't let me play until I'm healthy. She's coming this summer. She might take my spot. No she hurt her leg she can't. I said. I miss her. She cares a lot and loves me. Wait how did your mom find out? I froze. I stated to feel really angry. Your sister told her didn't she. Emma said. Yeah. I said. I really do care about you. All your secrets are safe with me. I'll never tell. She said.