Green Is Your Color||KilluaxGon

[9] I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend, I Wanna Kiss Your Lips

TW!!: Slight mentions of abuse

Killua and Gon sat in awkward silence on the couch, neither wanting to speak first. Gon tapped his finger repeatedly on his knee as his mind untimely emptied itself.

Killua watched as Gon sat in silence and he furrowed his brows. Gon not saying anything pisses him off.

"Don't just sit in front of me and wait for me to talk. This is your five minutes." He glared.

"Right, sorry..." he trailed. "I...this is really difficult."

"What's so difficult about an apology?"

"I've been dealing with a lot lately. Which isn't much of an excuse, really, but I want you to try and understand why I pushed you away." Gon breathed shakily, calling his nerves. "My dad isn't...ideal. Uhm, he came home surprisingly and found out about you and—and how I feel about you and he freaked out. Uhm, the rest was a blur and we had a midnight ER trip. Mito and I got stitches, then we went home and he told me to cut ties with you or he'd never come back. And I—I realize now that maybe I don't want him back? I don't know, I'm confused!"

Killua pursed his lips with furrowed brows and dug his nails into his pants.

"Don't you feel like you can tell me all of this? We're friends, aren't we?" Killua nearly let his voice falter, but kept it together.

"But that's the thing, Killua! That's the fucking thing! I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss you and hold you and take you on dates! I want to be your boyfriend!"

Oh, how desperately Killua wanted to clutch onto Gon and express how ecstatic that would make him; How unimaginably, unmistakably perfect things would be. But he held his tongue, because he needed more than what Gon was giving at the moment. He needed more, and that was not selfish.

"And I get it, really. I don't expect you to forgive me or like me back or even stay lab partners anymore. But the least I can do is apologize, because you deserve that and much more. So, I'm sorry. For being an asshole, for being a coward, for not being a good best friend, for being how I am, for—"

Killua pressed his finger to Gon's lips with a furrowed brow and twisted lips. Killua wondered what he was doing while he was doing it, but that alone couldn't stop him from carrying out his actions.

"Don't apologize for that."

Gon and Killua had this mutual understanding of the words coming out of Killua's mouth and the words that didn't get the chance to leave Gon's. They both knew what Killua was saying and what he wasn't, what Gon was saying and what he wasn't.

They looked at each other like they wanted to kiss each other, and they did. Really, truly, if their lips were just a bit closer, if their heads were just turned slightly to fit into each other like puzzle pieces.

Gon wanted to ask or say or do something to initiate the kiss, but sitting and staring at Killua's lips up close was the closets he could get to his hopeless fantasies.

But Killua was always more assertive than Gon, and Gon now realized by how much. Because Gon would have never initiated another kiss, but Killua did.

And their fantasies came true. Bodies entangled, hands in each other's hair, lips on lips, tongue on tongue, body on body, mind to mind. Being held and loved and kissed and touched and felt in more ways than one.

And they were a perfect fit and also a train wreck, but their togetherness was enough to feel whole and complete. And their lips moved in sync like puzzle pieces, their tongues meeting ever so slightly as to cause a shiver of anticipation.