Green Is Your Color||KilluaxGon

[10] Feels

um me have gf 🧍‍♀️gf, do not speak 😒

After dinner, Killua volunteered for after-dinner chores which were meant to be Alluka's job. He cleared off the table, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher and washed the remaining pots and pans used to cook before heading up to Alluka's room, where she lay face-up on her bed, busying herself mindlessly in her phone.

As per usual, Killua knocked on the doorframe before entering. Alluka perked up and laid back down, mumbling a "come in" as she went back to her phone once more.

"Can we...Can we talk?" Killua finally spoke after standing in utter silence at the doorway.

"Uhm...yeah."

She gave a look of uncertainty as she placed her phone on the nightstand and sat up. Killua didn't do "talks" and he most certainly didn't go out of his way to do so, so Alluka was slightly perturbed yet intrigued. Also, she was dying to figure out if he was dying; He took care of her chores for crying out loud, the dishes even. Killua hates washing dishes.

Killua took a seat at the foot of his sister's bed and let out a sigh. He hummed ever so slightly and wiggled his toes as he sifted through the figurative files in his mind that told him what exactly to say in this moment. He had planned for a talk, not really what to say. Or maybe he had and he just lost the file. Either way, he was coming up empty on ideas.

"I'm sorry," He decided to start with. "For blowing you off that day. It wasn't—it isn't fair to you, and I wish I had just been better. I-I was dealing with a lot; I still am dealing with a lot, which isn't an excuse, I know, but I'm just..."

Killua stopped as he pursed his lips and fought the urge to make this about him again. It was an unconscious thing he did when he had too much on his plate and it often ended up in the loss of friends and connections with other people.

"I love you still." He managed, chewing on his bottom lip. "Actually, I've always wanted a sister, so you're more than okay in my book."

He looked up to find her crying, Alluka. She was all choked up and her eyes were damp and full of tears. But the good kind; Killua could tell by the awkward downward smile she made. Killua started to smile a bit too as they hugged.

"Thank you." Alluka whispered into the hug.

Killua held her tighter, wanting this moment to never end. When was the last time they'd been so close? When was the last time they'd even had deep conversations or asked each other anything past what they did that day? Neither could recall. But this moment, the one right then, negated the past and paved way for a new beginning. An open one, a trusting one, a loving one. A beginning as a family.

As they pulled apart, Alluka sucked in a breath and wiped her eyes quickly before starting up again.

"Now, what's been bothering you?"

"Oh," Killua stopped, nearly scared shitless by the question. He hadn't...really come out to anyone. Especially given the fact that Illumi already knew. His throat tightened and his voice warned him, for more reasons than one, to not say a damn word. And, for once, he listened. "Nothing in particular, just school. Which is a stupid excuse for my shittiness."

"Well, we all go through our own problems." She grinned. "I'm gonna go call my study buddies now, so good night. I'll see you in the morning."

Killua smiled and bid her all the same as he left her room and went back to his, where he laid on his bed, face up.

Okay. I did it. I've done it. I'm okay. We're okay. So why do I still feel guilty?

Killua pulled out his phone and found himself responding to the insane amount of text messages from Gon, talking about stupidly boring stuff that made Gon even more stupidly cute. Killua kind of smiled as he scrolled through the messages, but the guilt returned and now he knew. The feeling wasn't guilt, but in fact worry.

Killua paused, thought and then continued on replying to almost every message he had sent. He even got as bold enough to send a heart emoji, until he started typing again, which then sent Killua's mind into a frenzy, only for him to realize it's cool.

:0
hearts?
r we sending hearts now?
im so downn omg
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Killua awkwardly snickered at his response and continued on texting.

seems like it lol❤️

so about summer

omg Christmas break hasnt even come around

ikkk but im rlly excited for you to meet all my friends
their nice and fun and cool and theid totally like you

*they're
*they'd

i stand corrected...😒

😋❤️

The conversation then slipped into Gon's stupidly adorable spewing of information on his friends. He talked about Ikalgo's pitching skills, Zushi's baking skills, Knuckle's veterinary and people skills, Retz's overall charm. He did talk a hefty lot about Zushi and Retz, mostly Retz.

Apparently she's a natural blonde with such blue eyes they almost have a hauntingly ethereal glow. She has freckles and plays softball and enjoys Disney movies like Tangled and The Little Mermaid. She can't cook for shit, but she loves eating. She prefers savory over sweet, which Killua couldn't comprehend, and always has a bag of pretzels on her; The complimentary type you get on airlines. And they're best friends, or at least they were in New York.

she seems...odd
we're kind of different, don't u think?
idk if she'll like me very much

oh she totally will!
you guys are pretty similar actually

??
I don't really like Disney
or savory things
or food that much
or pretzels
or softball

...
ok maybe ur right
but I'm sure you'll get along fine :)
she's like my favorite person on earth
*second favorite
can't forget about you, my liege

yeah yeah whatever
im gonna go to bed, mkay?
night :)

G'night killuaaaa
❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️

And, of course, Killua did not fall asleep. He lie awake in the dark, thinking about the endless possibilities of what he could possibly be worried about.

His current GPA returned to a 4.2, he apologized to and officially talked with Alluka, they finished the science project (however last minute), and he now has a boyfriend.

A boyfriend? Are they dating? They hadn't really...talked about it. But Gon likes him, he said so himself. And Killua likes Gon, he said so himself. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. So that's what's been nagging him. He should probably ask in the morning. Or something.

Even after his realization and breakthrough, Killua went to bed with a creeping feeling that everything was not alright.