Lovers by Chance [✔️]

^ Chapter 9 ^

"Promises are meant to be broken."

I hate that saying because it's wrong and whenever someone uses those words against you, it has a whole different meaning to it. It's not to hold someone accountable but to excuse their behaviour. You can't promise something you can't keep. You have to be careful with your wording. It's what makes me lose faith in someone.

The past few weeks have been absolute torture. I said that I'd stop loving him but you don't just do that within a week or a month or even half a year. Well, at least not me. We're in the same grade and same classes so it's evident that I'd see him with his girlfriend.

I don't hate her. Why should I? She's just dating the only guy I've ever fallen in love with? It's not like she's ever spoken to me. She's very low-key, pretty smart and loves to game as I've heard from Mia. She has bangs with shoulder lengthen hair, but the kind that really suits her aura. It's kind of badass in a sense. From what I've heard, she's very bold. She was the one who asked him out on Valentine's Day. Every guy on the volleyball team wouldn't shut up about her. Everywhere he went is where I happened to be BECAUSE WE'RE IN THE SAME GRADE AND SAME CLASS.

That week overall just wasn't my sunshines and rainbow. My mom's nagging me about my future which I'm usually thrilled to speak on but not this moment. I lost my AirPod case somewhere in my bedroom. Mia wasn't there for half of the week because of some urgent family care which I don't blame her for at all. It's just a shame as I was in need of a friend. I spent most of my days alone that week alone in the library. And today was just the tip of the iceberg.

Something to know about my physics sensei is that he loves handing out the tests he has corrected towards the end of the term, before our report cards. So today happened to be the day he decided to hand out all of our previous tests, including the one I studied used like a maniac with him.

"You nervous?" Mia asked as she laid back on her seat. The only good thing that came out of today was her presence.

"Of course I am. I finally want to secure an eighty on my report card but I know I won't get it," I sulked, placing my palm under my chin.

"You're always so negative when it comes to physics. I'm sure this time it'll be different," she patted my back. "Anyways let's change the subject. Let's talk about something else. Oh," she jumped with excitement. "Let's talk about Tsukishima's new girlfriend, Kuchiki Rukia. Don't they look great together? Like I don't know if it's just me but they mesh well with each other."

"I've heard people say he blends well with me," I lied. I don't know why I said that.

"Really? I don't see it. Sure he's your type but I don't know, you guys just look like the couple that would argue every two minutes and no one likes that," she snorted.

"Yea...no one likes that," I murmured. Before I could digress, sensei was already at our table with his corrections.

"Miss Wakatoshi, you did better than the first term but worse than the second term. If you had a problem, why didn't you come forward?" He handed Mia's three tests forward.

"I didn't think I had one, sensei. Now my grades have average dropped by at least 2.5%," she whined.

"And you miss L/N. You're usually at the top of your game. What happened?" He sighed as he gave my papers to me.

"Sensei, I think you're mistaken. I've never had any high grades in physics. This is actually the highest I've ever gotten," I tried to contain the tear that wanted to escape my eye. Defeat is what I felt. That constant reminder:

You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough
You're not good enough

"Ah right," he slapped his face. "I must've mistaken you for miss Kuchiki. You both have the same hand writing style."

"Sensei," I called out his name before he moved on to the next desk.

"Yes?"

"Can I please go to the nurse's office? It's urgent," I tried to signal that I was on my period.

"Ah yes," he seemed a little startled. "You may go and take your bag while your bag while you're at it. Class ends in 15 minutes anyways," he agreed.

"Thank you sensei."

I didn't say a word to Mia. How could I? There was a huge lump on my throat that would burst out a bunch of tears if I even dare let a word out. Out in the hallway, I was forcing my tears to reverse back to where it came from because I was not about to cry in public all because of some shitty subject. Especially when I know that I tend to fall into a dark state when I get bad grades. It's a bad habit of mine.

I made it to the nurse's office with a weak smile on my face. I mentioned the period cramps I was experiencing and how unbearable it was which was actually the truth. But I can't tell her that I actually force myself to suck it up in order to build a tolerance for it. She offered me a bed near the wall of the room which was perfect. I just needed to sleep off my mood. No need to self reflect.

I laid on the bed, closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing. I did tear up in the process but in the end, I managed to lower my heart rate and nap for the rest of day. My last two classes after break was gym so I really wasn't missing much.

He didn't keep his promise. He said that I'd achieve an 80%. He promised me that. A guarantee and yet, I didn't even reach a quarter of that. How stupid am I? Why can't I just succeed in physics. I should start searching for a tutor. My grade point average dropped once again. This was truly the tip of the iceberg. I needed this. To know that he was unreliable. I might just forget about him after all.

I don't know why I'm complaining the way I am? I know the only reason I'm this mad over that test is because if reminds me if him. He spent the whole night helping me understand even though I struggled greatly. I'm mad that he liked straight into my eye with a smirk on his face and said that I'd get a guaranteed 80%. Why would I believe such a thing? No one can guarantee shit when it all comes down to skills. If you don't have the skills to answer the question, of course you won't get the grade you wanted.

"Miss L/N," the nurse called out. "Tsukishima Kei wants to speak with you about an urgent matter. Is that alright with you?"

"Yes, it's fine with me," I slowly sat up. I waited for him to come forward before straightening my back.

"Hey," he sat in the bed.

"Hey," I pursed my lips. "What's the emergency?"

"The forms for our trip needs to handed and presented to the class."

"Our next period is gym so not possible. I'll do it tomorrow," I assured, avoiding contact.

"Great. Uh by the way, there's something near your eyelash," he noticed.

"Which eye?" I began touching sliding my fingers under my eye.

"Your right eye."

"Is it here?" I pointed at the location of my left eye.

"No. It's rightttt," he paused, staring into my eyes. "Have you been crying?"

"No."

"You don't need to lie. No one's looking," his hand lowered onto my cheek.

"Can you please not touch me?" I pulled his hand down.

"Sorry. That thing fell onto your cheek."

"Right. Can you please go? I'd really like to rest." I'm on verge of tears. I can't spare another minute.

"Of course," he hoped off the bed. "Just by the way, I wanted to know how you did in physics? Did my intelligence work wonders?"

"Oh...yeah. I wanted to thank you for helping achieving my goal. It's the highest I've ever gotten," I bit my lip.

"Are you sure you're o-"

"Leave."