Lovers by Chance [✔️]

^ Chapter 16 ^

The next morning was interesting. Very, very interesting if you asked me. I woke up at eight because I was responsible to make sure every student on my floor had already eaten breakfast and had all their beach attires. During the time that I was getting ready, Mia was already gone. Her beach bag, swimsuit and even her sunscreen. No message, call or voice note which is very odd. She's never been one to be on time. In fact, she hates being punctual.

Either way, I didn't let it bother today. Our first excursion on the other side of the country was the beach. By the time the clock was about to strike nine thirty, I had all my students downstairs with their small backpacks. The rest came as late ten which I found to be extremely disrespectful and annoying, but what do I expect from eighteen year old teens? Nothing at all.

The teachers allowed my group to go in and choose our seats because of how early we were. I asked Mia if she wanted to sit next to me during the bus ride but she declined, saying that she promised to sit next to Ochako last night. We don't have to sit next to each other but of all days, today? Did I do something wrong? Should I ask about later on tonight? No. Let's not ruin the trip with my doubts. Since we're an uneven group, I had to sit alone. I didn't mind it. It gave me time to do what I do best. Reflect.

It was an hour long drive so it gave me a lot of time to dissect each problem I've been dealing with recently. I still haven't found the time to relax since the announcement of this trip. I've been holding it in for the sake of others. How selfless of me, people might say but I disagree. I'm just trying to find ways to avoid it. Just as I was about to plug in my earphones onto my ears, Kei slides onto the seat next to mine.

"What a coincidence, it was you sitting all by yourself," he said, apparently surprised.

"Sure, this wasn't planned at all," I rolled my eyes. "Can you go sit somewhere else? I want to be alone."

"Why's that?"

"I need time to think."

"About?"

"Us," I told him. Be honest. There's no reason to lie.

"Could I be part of the conversation?" He wondered though seeming disinterested as he pulled out his phone.

"Do you want to be part of this conversation?" I did find it hard to believe.

"I do," he switched off his phone and went back to laying his eyes on me.

"Wow, I didn't expect that answer to be honest," I mumbled under my breath. I felt this sudden rush of adrenaline pumping my heart. Am I that anxious? "Well I only have one thing to argue with you because it kind of pissed me off."

"And what is that?" His expression changed.

"Why would you date someone in order to make me jealous?" I lowered my voice.

"Starting easy, I see," he sighed as he stopped making contact with me. "I could be honest and save us the trouble of over complicating our relationship. Or...or I could just not say anything at all and hopefully you'll move passed it."

"I like the first option better," I passively smiled.

"Promise me this won't damage what we rebuilt," he sighed.

"No promises," I refused.

"Then I'm not telling," he stubbornly said.

"Fine," I sighed. "But you have to answer my next question."

"Let's here it."

"Did you kiss her at some point?"

"...no comment," he continued to look elsewhere. He doesn't even have the balls to tell me straight. Huh...should've known.

"Okay," I tried to hide what I was feeling. It definitely wasn't saddness. Oh no. It was disappointment. I'm disappointed at myself. I set a standard for him just because he's now paying attention to me. I should've known that he's still the same guy that was a shit bag to me two years ago.

"Last question," I cleared my throat."How is that you were so open to your relationship with her, but I had to keep on a hoodie every time we went home together?"

Suddenly he's the quiet kid that never spews a word. "Ridiculous," I murmured. "Could you sit somewhere else? You're no longer welcomed."

"Y/N, you've gotta understan-"

"Using my first name? Didn't know we were that close," I scoffed.

"Ask me an even harder question. I promise I'll answer." Oh suddenly he's a man of promise, of truth.

"If you can't even answer those questions, I highly doubt you'll be able to answer any more," I glanced at the window, where I could see us approaching the sea.

"I'm serious this time," he held my hand that was placed on my lap.

"Okay," I took a deep breath. "You've always said that you don't consider me a friend. Do you consider me more that and if so, by how much?"

"I consider you more than a friend."

"By how much?"

"More than you can imagine. I..." he stopped looking at me again. What is so hard about looking at me? Are you that guilty?

"You what?" I didn't have the patience.

"I...I can't," he let go of my hand.

"Don't even a bother. Just... walk away," I felt my throat closing up. He will never see me cry. I will not allow him to have that much power of me. I'm in control of my own emotions.

I continued to tell myself that I didn't need him, I wanted him. He was a choice. I allowed him into my life. I allowed him to touch me. I allowed him to kiss me. I allowed him to join my chain of thought. All of this and him are a choice. I need to accept that. And I will. This time, I will get over him.