Lovers by Chance [✔️]

^ Desperation ^

Later in the evening, I stayed in bed with Mia chatting with her about my troubles. She's someone I know would listen to my sorrows when needed. I told her about what happened with Atsumu and what he said. It was no surprise that she fully against my idea.

"You know how this is going to end," she said as she grabbed her robe from the chair.

"I know. I'll be crying my eyes out day and night. I won't be able to concentrate like I'm supposed to. I'm aware," I sighed knowing that she was right. I just need to know myself that this is wrong. Something in my mind is thinking that there's still a "what if". I don't want that anymore. I just want straight forward answers, nothing more.

"That's the minimal effect Y/N. You'll literally feel like dying for the next two months. Is that what you want? Cause I can tell you right now that I'm still going through that motion and I haven't even had a conversation with him." She placed her shoes onto her feet and unlocked the door. "See you tomorrow and tell me everything in detail."

"Bye," I echoed. Mia went to one of her friend's hotel room across the hallway. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I decided to text Kei to come over if he wanted to.

I haven't taken off my swimsuit from under shirt since we had ate an hour ago. Taking away the excuses, I wanted to keep it on because of how dangerous it made me feel. Usually, I wear long shirts or three quarter jeans because of my parents and their restrictions.

The first knock appeared just as I was about to wait by the door. More nervous than anything, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that if he doesn't want it, I'll stop immediately. I unlocked the door and pulled it towards my body as I peaked my head.

"Hey."

His hair isn't wet but it looked damp. Did he shower? If he did, how long ago? He's wearing his black sweatpants and grey t-shirt that I saw him wear two nights ago. He must've been getting ready for bed. Did I disturb him? What am I even doing? He probably thinks that I want to get back with him when it's not the case.

Fuck.

"Can I come in?" He didn't let me not talking faze him.

"No," I blurted out.

Shit.

The longer he stays, the more I'd want him.

"Look," I swallow the saliva that constantly forms from my rise of my heart beat. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Why would you apolog-" before he could continue, I smashed my lips onto his. My hands were on his face for the first time in 3 days, 5 hours, 26 minutes and few seconds. Seeping my lips more into his, I tasted the chocolate brownie he ate at dinner. It was all I could linger in my mind. After gliding my hands towards his chest, stepped back from the kiss from to catch my breath and then looked back at him.

"This was a mistake," I finally realised how dumb of an idea this was. Especially when he didn't reciprocate the same sentiments. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," the tears came flooding in. "I just wanted to feel your touch one last time."

"I love you," he leaned in to kiss me back. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I grabbed his neck and leaned towards him. His hands brushing down my lower back, his tongue entering my mouth, his smile every time we try to catch our breath...I'm deceiving him.

"No," I pushed him back. "We're not getting back together. Wha...what we did just now...what I did just now was a mistake. I'm sorry," I couldn't bare to look him in the eyes.

"Do you regret it?"

"It's not important. You should go," I pushed the door towards him.

"I'm not leaving til I get an answer," he held the door back.