ALONE NO MORE

Chapter Fourteen

It was a cloudy Sunday afternoon.Annika,as usual,was busy with her paperworks.She was again in front of her computer but now she had to wear glasses because the glare of the screen was taking its toll on her eyes For the last two years her studies had kept her sane and it kept her from falling into a slump ever since Hiei left her for demon world.She kept herself busy and because of her efforts she has become one of the most outstanding students in the university.Her name has become well-known there and there was a high chance that she would be one of those who would graduate with high honors.Her friends were very happy and proud of her but they knew she would be a lot happier if she had Hiei to share her success with.Even if he left her hanging in mid air,she couldn't bring herself to get angry with him,instead she has become in love with him all the more.He was still he who could claim her love.Even if Kurama has been persistent on courting her,she still couldn't bear to remove Hiei entirely from her heart.She couldn't see anything wrong with Kurama.He was good looking,highly intelligent and truly a "boyfriend" material but then again the heart can't be taught to just forget.Hiei owns her heart and she was still waiting for him to come back.
Her phone rang.She removed her attention from the computer and picked it up.It was Kurama.
"Hello,Annika."
"Hi,Kurama, what's up?!"
"Are you busy?!"
"No, I'm just finishing up with my encoding.Why?!"
"Great!Why don't we go out tonight?! It's been a while since we last went out.Let's have dinner."
Annika hesitated.She wanted to refuse at first then thought better of it,and agreed.
"All right,what time are we going?!"
"I'll pick you up at eight."
"Fine.Okay,see you tonight.Bye!"
"Bye,Annika,"she then put the phone down.She turned again to the computer.But now she was distracted she could not continue with what she had started.She finally turned it off, leaving her paper half done.She sighed and took her glasses off.Then she walked to the sofa and lay down there.
Now her thoughts were on Kurama.He has been very nice and patient with her.Along with Yusuke and the others,he has been a great companion and a friend to her They all helped her get over her sadness at Hiei's departure.As time passed by the pain eased up and she has learned to get by even without him.She was overly grateful to them.If they haven't come into her life at those trying times,she would have been crushed and she wouldn't know if she could still go on.
When Kurama started courting her,it was another issue.She was shocked when he told her that he already has feelings for her.She well knew that he was Hiei's best friend and she didn't know what to think about it At first,she kept brushing him off,thinking it was a joke.Yet he persisted.He told her he was ready to wait for her But she really just thought of him as a good friend,no more and no less.Although it would not be difficult to love him because of his good attributes,Hiei was still the only man in her heart,in her life and he would still be the one even if it might be a remote possibility that he would come back.
"Are you ready to go?!"Kurama asked her when she opened the front door and he was already there.He was right on time.He was really gorgeous,very handsome even more good looking than Hiei and she could not deny that.
"Come on in.Just wait for me for a few minutes."
Kurama held out the flower bouquet he was holding to her,"For you,Annika.Hope you like them."
Annika looked at the flowers.Gosh,they were so beautiful.She could not resist them She accepted them with a murmur of thanks.Kurama flashed her a smile that was enough to melt a stone heart.
After about fifteen minutes,they had arrived at the restaurant not far from Annika's apartment.They had been there several times before with the others.And they have also gone there twice by themselves.So they are not new to the place.It had a quiet ambiance and very excellent service.
As the waiter placed their orders on their table,Kurama could not help but notice Annika's silence.She seemed to be lost in thought.He snapped his fingers in front of her.Annika came out of her daze and looked at him.
"Seems you are not with me,Annika.Are you okay?!"
She was apologetic,"Sorry,Kurama,I just remembered something."
"Let's talk about that later.For now, let's just eat.I'm starving."
"Oh,yes All right."
Still she was not herself.She ate little.Kurama again noticed it.
"Annika?!"Annika just looked at him.
"Is there something wrong?! You are really not your self!"
Annika forced a laugh"What?! Why do you think that?!Of course,I'm just fine."
Kurama is not easily fooled,"I don't think so,Annika.You're not fine and you know it... It's Hiei,right?!"
Annika knew she couldn't hide anything from him.His psychic sense was much more developed than hers and she knew he could well read her mind.She let out a sigh.
"I guess, it's no use trying to hide what I feel.,"Annika said resignedly,"I don't know...I can't help it.I still can't help but remember him."
"I know,because you still love him,am I correct?!"
"Look,Kurama,I'm so sorry.I know I shouldn't feel this way.Here I am with you,but I think of another.It's not fair at all to you!"
Kurama smiled,but he could not deny that he was stung a bit.But what could he do?!It was his fault anyway that he chose to court her,hoping that he could make her love him but it seemed his friend has really taken her everything.
"I understand,"Kurama said quietly.
"I'm really,very sorry,Kurama.It would be best if you just forget me.I know this would hurt but I have to be honest with you.I..I really can't bring myself to...to love another.And it wouldn't be fair for you if you'll keep on hoping. It may be best if we just remain as friends,Kurama."
Kurama fell silent.Her words hit him hard but he had to accept it.After all he just gambled.And now,it seemed he had lost.Hiei still won even if he wasn't around.How lucky could he get.
They drove to her apartment in silence.It was uncomfortable.Annika kept glancing at Kurama ,trying to read what was going on in his mind.She couldn't help but say something.
"Kurama,are...are you mad at me?!"
"No,Annika, I'm not.I understand you.Don't worry about me.I've accepted that I really can't replace Hiei in your heart.If I can just do something so that I could bring him back to you,so that you won't be lonely any longer..."
Annika's blue eyes widened.Really he was willing to do that for her?!She could not believe it.What selflessness!
"Just remember,Annika I will always
be here for you.No matter what.If you need someone to talk to,I'd still be here.And ,yes, we'll remain friends as before.Nothing would change,Annika...."
As soon as she entered her apartment and closed the door,she finally broke down.It was a great effort for her to mask what she was feeling while she was out with Kurama,but now she could not bear it anymore.She slumped on her bed,face down and let go of her sobs.She cried all her heart out.All of those tears were for Hiei,whom she has not forgotten for the past two years
"When will I ever let go?!Why am I still hoping that he would come back to me?!How long would I have to wait for him?!... Hiei,please,I almost can't bear it any longer.Please come back.I miss you and I need you so much!!Why do you keep on torturing me?!I can't stand it anymore.I will always love you,Hiei.You mean so much to me and even time can't replace that!Just come back,please...."Annika kept crying,her sheets were drenched with her tears.At that,she fell into a troubled sleep.Ah,the agony that is love....