Wish That I Could be your Lover | Ronance

Chapter Ten

Nancy

A week. That's how long it had been since Nancy last saw Robin.

When she woke up that morning and the other girl had disappeared she couldn't help the disappointment that had bubbled up. At first she had just assumed that Robin had to work or needed to be somewhere, and despite her sorrow she pushed away any lingering thoughts of the taller girl.

Then Tuesday passed, and she hadn't showed up to their biology lab. Though Robin could be late most weeks, she had never skipped the class entirely. The fact that she did only caused Nancy to worry, so much so that she called her home phone later that day. She was only met with the family's voicemail, and the second time she called Robin's mother had told her that she was at work.

Thursday soon passed, the day they usually completed their assignments for the week, and again there was no sign of the blonde-haired girl. Nancy had waited outside for almost an hour after their original meet-up time, dread filling her as each minute passed and Robin didn't appear, before finally she accepted that she wouldn't be coming.

If Robin clearly wasn't in any sort of trouble, that could only mean that the girl was blowing Nancy off because of something she had done. She must've hurt Robin's feelings somehow and she had no idea what could've caused this much of a reaction.

Surely, it wasn't because of the sleepover right? Had she been too pushy, urging Robin to stay that night? Did her neediness scare away the other girl? Nancy couldn't remember saying anything that offended her, but maybe Robin was better at hiding her feelings than she thought.

Maybe the other girl had caught on to Nancy's ever-growing crush on her and it had made her panic, they had only agreed to be friends after all and having feelings for your so-called friend wasn't exactly platonic behavior.

She had tried so hard not to let those feelings break through though. Anytime she caught her eyes drifting down to meet Robin's lips she immediately snapped herself out of her daze. Not to mention Nancy always tried to make sure there was some sort of space or barrier between them (well, minus the time they were drunk, it wasn't her fault Robin was being so touchy that night) so she could attempt to keep those thoughts at bay, the thoughts she had of running her fingers through Robin's hair or resting her head on her shoulder.

The rest of Thursday and the entirety of Friday, Nancy was distraught. It felt as if she was losing Robin just like she had nearly a year ago, and she couldn't go through that again. Her heart felt like it had broken in half—no scratch that, it felt like it had been shattered into a million little pieces and no tape or glue could put it back together.

She just missed Robin, and her sweet laugh, her annoyingly cute rambling that Nancy could listen to for hours, the way she always made her feel warm inside, and the fact that the other girl was blowing her off again without any sort of explanation stung her more than she cared to admit.

She couldn't even apologize to Robin for whatever she did. If she wasn't showing up to class and was purposefully ditching her, how was she supposed to talk to her? She wouldn't pick up the phone, and Nancy wasn't about to drive to her house when she had no clue where she even lived. Maybe she could ask Steve, just she didn't know if he would tell her. His loyalty was always to the taller girl, not Nancy.

The brunette also didn't know if she could handle showing up to Robin's house and having the door slammed in her face. The rejection would hurt more than the self-loathing thoughts she was dealing with now.

That's how she found herself laying in her dark room on Saturday, buried under her comforter in attempt to hide from the world. Her pillows still faintly smelled like Robin, which only made her heart ache and tears spring into her eyes at the thought of the scent soon fading. It would be like the last physical trace of Robin disappearing from her life, only leaving Nancy with her memories of the girl.