Chapter 5

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My tears are running

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My tears are running. They've created a dark spot on Simon's hoodie. But I don't care. I don't think he does either. Because right now is our moment. I know it won't last forever. I wish it could. Being in his arms is all I need.

"Did you hea-" I start to say, sniffling between my words.

"Not all of it but yeah." He replies quietly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I really wanted to. I did."

"It's okay, Wilhelm. It's okay."

I can feel my body shake even though Simon is holding me as tight as possible. My lip's trembling and I just want to lay down. I put my head on his shoulders.

"I'm so so sorry, Simon. I'm so sorry." I can barely whisper the words out. You can hear the shakiness in my voice. "I really didn't want to do it. I really didn't."

I feel Simon tense.

"It's okay. It'll be okay. We'll be okay."

And just by him say 'we'll be okay' all my tears pour out. It's like no one else exists right now. It's just us, caught up in our own small world.

"Look, class is about to start so I think I should go but if you want to talk you're welcome to come to my place after school okay?"

"Okay."

It almost feels like it's going too smoothly with Simon. But right now I don't care. How could I?

I start to walk to my next class, soothing my chest while I walk. When I first showed up I would feel so conscious of what people were saying, but now everyone is a blur. The whispers were muted out. Everything was muted out. Life was just me. I felt happy and sad.

"Wilhelm." A voice called out in the background. "Wilhelm!" The voice got louder. "Wilhelm!"

A hand rested on my shoulder and turned me around. It was Felice. And now suddenly everyone exists again. I kinda wished they didn't, but they do.

"Hey are you okay? You've been zoned out for a while and your eyes are a little red." She asked.

"Um I had a chat... with August."

"Oh my god. What did he say to you. That little bitch." She whispered that last part.

"It was just about how I should forgive him because he only did it since he was mad at me."

"If you even think about forgiving him, I swear to god I'll rip your insides out."

"I won't forgive him. I promise."

"Good. Did he say anything else?"

"Um." My voice breaks a little. "He said that... he said that Erik would be.. that he would be disappointed in me." My eyes drop to the floor because I don't really wanna see the pity on her face.

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