Chapter 10

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I can feel Wilhelm staring at me

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I can feel Wilhelm staring at me. I can't tell if he's mad at me or if he's disappointed, but I know he's not happy with me. I move my hands down under the table. August glances over very quickly before looking at his food. One of the third years, Nils I think, starts asking him about what happened.

"I don't remember. I think I got wasted or something."

"No fucking way man. How'd you get the alcohol?"

"Dude, I literally just fucking said I don't remember."

"Okay dude. Jeez."

The silence gets louder every second.

I move my hand to get some more of my food. Both August and Wilhelm stare at the bandages wrapping my knuckles. The food I'm eating suddenly turns colder and less flavorful, like the life was drained from it. Still no one has said anything. Wilhelm's eyes have turned from me to his food. I can tell he's upset.

Soon enough, we get dismissed. We have a little bit of free time before class starts. Wilhelm starts walking past me but I grab his wrists.

"Wilhelm, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Simon." He says before walking away. I can hear a slight sting in his voice. I decide it's not worth it, not right now at least.

I start walking class to get there a little bit earlier. Wilhelm is too. I see him sit down, I sit at the table next to his.

The silence around us kills me. It feels like it lasts a lifetime. One I don't have.

But in just a blink of an eye, Sara is sitting next to me. And then the others start to pour in. Everyone stands up, and I follow. Then the teacher starts talking. I think it's Mr. Lundon but I'm not entirely sure.

I can't really focus right now. All I can think about right now is Wilhelm's eyes when he realized. Then sudden flashes of pain strike into my knuckles. Then parts of what happened last night flash through my head.

And soon it's just guilt.

Why'd you hurt him, Simon?

You're just like him, Simon.

A monster, that's all you are.

You're one of them now.

You're like Sara.

You're like your father.

Maybe worse than your dad.

You got Wille high, made him what you hate.

You made him like your dad.

And that makes you worse.

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