KISS ME ✔️

LISTEN TO YOURSELF

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: LISTEN TO YOURSELF

" but the day he did me wrong,the song couldn't go on and on and on "- little mix (sweet melody)

Two bags of Nova, four slices of pizza, two cups of Caramel Frappuchino, and now chickenjoy with Spaghetti.

This is... this is bad.

This is really bad.

May shoot pa naman ako sa lunes at bikini shoot pa, sige kain lang ako ng kain, nagsimula 'to nung tumakbo dahil iniwasan ko si Ryland that day, I am not ready yet, I am not ready to talk to him about my issues.

Natatakot ako na masaktan siya, ayoko siyang masaktan dahil sobrang espesyal na siya sa'kin, he's too good for a man that I don't think I deserve to be in his life, to be his girlfriend.

And now I'm here eating. I've been eating for like two days now, wala naman akong shoot o trabaho ngayong linggo, sa Lunes pa shoot ko so I'm okay.

But I am not okay.

I am not okay at all.

"Pang-ilan mo na yan, Megan?" Tanong ni mom sa tabi ko pagupo niya tsaka hablot sa pagkain ko.

"Mom na—"

"Lolobo ka na niyan! Nung nakaraan ka pa! Kain ka ng kain! Ano na? Ano? Anong problema mo?" Saway pa niya.

I love my mom, I really do. Siya lang kaming dalawa simula noon at tinulungan na'min ang isa't-isa, nakita ko ang sakripisyo na ginagawa niya para sa'kin at para sa kinabukasan ko na rin.

One thing that will never change is her love for me as her daughter.

Hanggang ngayon tinatanong pa rin niya kung kamusta yung shoot ko, na walang kwenta yung mga haters ko, and that all the men are trash kaya raw ako nasaktan noon.

I don't really talk about my love life with her anymore pagkatapos ng huli kong relasyon, ilang taon na rin yun.

Sometimes I would tell her about some men that I slept with, na may something something lang pero 'di naging kami kasi wala naman talagang kami, it was just sex and nothing else.

Besides, everytime I talk about sex with her she gets strict and protective, tas bibilan niya na lang ako bigla ng condom.

"Wala, wala mom. Stressed lang."

"Stressed? Bakit? Anong stressed? Ang ganda ganda mo tapos masestress ka?"

Gosh, I love her, I love my mom so much.

But not now. I cannot just tell her what my issue is, mapapraning siya nanaman. Napraning nga siya nalaman niya kung sino si Ryland sa buhay ko, she kept asking me questions kung crush ko ba siya o boyfriend ko na siya kasi sobrang gwapo raw.

Oo naman, kinilig ako. I told her a few things, yung paano ko siya nakilala o kung anong relasyon na'ming dalawa eh ang sabi ko naman kaibigan ko lang siya.

I wasn't sure if I could tell her na nililigawan niya na 'ko. Tsaka ang hirap iexplain kung paano nung nangyari yun.

"Basta... mommy, not now, please." Sagot ko sabay lamon sa spaghetti.