KISS ME ✔️

PLEASE, PLEASE

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: PLEASE, PLEASE

" i have never met a man
who gets it like you do "
- doja cat (can't wait)

No matter how much I try to avoid the situation it will always be like this.

It will always be me trying to find a way to talk to him. Kung bakit ko siya iniwasan. Bakit hindi ko siya nirereplayan o inaccept yung yung tawag niya.

Kailangan ko siyang harapin at kausapin.

I need to tell him everything without anymore excuses this time and this... this is what I want.

I want to tell him everything and let it all go.

Ayoko nang isipin pa ang nakaraan, the past is the past and I should focus on what I have with Ryland. It's beautiful, intense, and good. I have a feeling that this time I'll be right because Ryland is right for me.

Now, I just have to show him that I am right for him.

And most importantly, I want him.

I want Ryland in my life.

"Wala pa rin?" Tanong ni Alethea sa tabi ko habang tinutupi yung mga damit ni Eros na kakatapos lang niyang laban.

"Wala." I sighed.

Sinubukan kong itext si Ryland nung gabi na kinausap ako ni Brent tungkol sa sitwasyon at takot ko.

He gave me confidence to bring myself back up and just let the past go and go for what I truly want. Yun nga lang, 'di pa rin ako nirereplayan ni Ryland. Ilang araw na ang nakalipas at wala pa rin akong natatanggap sa kanya.

Maybe he's busy, may iba siyang trabaho at 'di lang pagmomodel kaya busy siya, I'm sure.

Pero kahit na busy siya noon tinetext pa rin niya 'ko.

"I get it, busy siya." I sighed again.

"I get it din na hindi ka okay."

I'm making up all these excuses in my head and yet I'm still not okay. Gusto ko na siyang makita, tangina, gusto ko siyang makausap, I just want to be with him!

"No, kasalanan ko, Thea."

"Megan naman."

I feel selfish. Pakiramdam ko tinulak ko siya papalayo sa'kin at ngayon wala nang pag-asa para sa relasyon na'ming dalawa, parang bumalik lang ako sa simula.

"Wala kang kasalanan, pagusapan niyo lang dalawa yung nangyari sa'yo."

"Yes but... what if he ends up hating me?"

"He won't hate you, Meg. No one hates you! Maganda ka, mabait, sexy, tsaka magalang..."

"I broke so many hearts, Thea."

Ayokong isipin niya na may nahanap na 'kong iba, hindi ko kakayanin na makita siyang masaktan dahil sa'kin.

All I want is for him to be happy and to have everything he deserves in this world, kahit na pakiramdam ko na hindi ako yo'n, gusto ko pa ring ipakita sa kanya na gustong-gusto ko pa rin siya.

I'm not going to run this time.

"But you won't do it to Ryland, right?"

Tumango ako sa tanong niya. Hindi ko naman plinano na saktan siya, I wasn't even thinking about just having sex with him, I like him because I want him to be mine.