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It's been exactly one week since I was Discharged from the hospital and taken in by Maya and Carina, I still haven't got that bond with Maya like I have with Carina yet and I don't even know why. It feels so stupid you know? Like, she has been just as nice to me as Carina but I just can't bring myself to get attached to her, I think its mainly cause I don't wanna get too attached to more than one person.
I've done that so many times and where did it get me, its easier to just put trust in one person because if you let too many people in, your just allowing yourself to get hurt more than once. I guess with Carina it just helps cause she's italian, she feels like home, like the closest thing I can get to my real mamma, we can talk to each other in a language not many people can understand, it's an escape from this terrifying world.
Anyway, I'm lay in my bed, snuggled into Mr Fluff that now looks as good as new since Carina gave him a bath, it feels good to have him by me, he may just be a stupid comforter type bunny to you, but to me Mr Fluff is so much more. I just don't even wanna get out of this bed today because I'm so so scared, I go back to school today and you know what that means, I have to face Roxanne and her mean minions of friends.
Yes I know what your thinking, why do Maya and Carina not know? Well I'm simply to worried to tell them, they think all them injuries were caused by my Foster parents and sure, most of them were but I still had broken ribs and internal bleeding in the stomach all because of the bullies at school making the injuries ten times worse than they already were. I hate school, so so much, why do i have to go? It's not fair.
"Kimmy tesoro it's time to get up, you have school today bambina" I suddenly hear and see Carina stud by the door with a smile on her face "non voglio andare!" (I do not want to go!) I say to her in a quiet whisper. She frowns "you have to go bambina, i go back to work today and Maya is already at the ststion, we can't watch you today, plus all your injuries are pretty much healed, just, promise me you'll go easy so?" the Italian says in a stern but loving way.
I nod my head and push myself out of the comfy bed "fine", she smiles at me before heading to the kitchen, probably to have her coffee, I make my way to the bathroom and splash my face with luke warm water. I give myself a pep talk as I look at my reflection in the mirror, as I take one deep breath I put my happy face on like I had done for so many years. I use the toilet quickly and then brush my hair before brushing my teeth and heading back into my room to get dressed.
'Atleast I have some new clothes to wear today' I thought to myself as I look at the clothes I had put out last night for me to wear, Roxanne may try to make me feel like crap but at least I can actually walk into school without feeling like a smelly scruffy broken girl now. I have access to shower everyday, I get to brush my teeth, brush my hair and I get to eat proper meals. For the first time in forever I am able to take care of my needs.
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Her outfit she chose for today
Once I'm dressed I grab my earphones and Samsung phone that Maya and Carina got for me, they had added there numbers into it and a few of their friends incase of an emergency and I needed to reach them. Maya had also helped put some tunes into for me, I mean music is life, can you blame me? "aww my bellissima bambina" (my beautiful baby girl) Carina said when she saw me walk into the kitchen.
