Feel free to message me or comment with idea's/requests for this story as every little helps! Plus it might be nice for you to see something you want to happen in station 19, after all, this story will be based purely off imagination since this will...
So a few of you who have read my previous book which I'm yet to finish will already know that I had to have my little girl, my rock (my French bulldog) put to sleep on the 23rd April around 3 am in the morning. My mum had let me have her at mine that week because Bonnie, the pup was scrapping with Milly too much and we were looking into rehoming her because we had to put Milly first.
Anyway, on the 22nd around 10pm Milly was sat on my bed while we watched frozen 2, then all a sudden she started to shake, I panicked at first as I hated seeing her like that, she cowered down and flinched at every movement or door that opened. When I realised it wasn't going to stop I had to rush her to a family friend who was a dog groomer as well as dog fosterer so she knew her stuff.
She got me and Milly to an emergency vets and even helped paying the first payment until I had reached my mum to tell her, the vet told us she would be fine and that it looked like possible poisoning but they could treat it, the cause for her shaking was a seizure, on the way to the vets she had lost control of her bowels and bladder.
While i was in the car she gave me one last look as she was in my arms and then she lay back down, that was her way of saying goodbye, she knew deep down something was going on and her giving me thag last look with them beautiful brown eyes was her saying goodbye. Anyway the vet had told us she would be fine so me and the friend went to my mums, baring in mind it was now midnight by the time we got to hers.
During the time I was at my mums, we had a phone call and it was the vet telling us Milly was in fact not gonna make it, that it clearly wasn't poisoning cause the medication and everything they did wasn't working. They had to give her oxygen to help her breathe but because of the seizure, her brain had gone without it for so long she ended up brain dead 😭
So we had to have her put to sleep, it was horrible as Milly was my everything, she was there through the good and the bad, she was like a service animal for mental health even though she wasn't, she was sure such a lovely girl who'd never had any health issues. The first time she ever needed the vet for anything and there was nothing they could do.
I thought having her put to sleep was the hardest but after yesterday I'm not so sure, scattering her ashes was just as difficult, I kept putting it off for so long and I didn't know why but after I did it and I got home I realised why. Its because now I feel empty, like she really is gone, she may have left this world but when her ashes were with me, it felt like she was still there but now she's not.
I'm so happy that I set her free though at the same time, my baby angel is exactly that now, she's up in rainbow bridge running round with them beautiful angel wings. Anyway, Milly had always loved the water, she'd try to run to it all the time so I chose a lovely spot and I did it, the nicest thing is the fact, when I scattered her in the river, the wind made them travel to the sunset.
What a lovely way to go eh, she was on her way to the sunset, she really was free, she is free. So as much as it really hurts right now, I know that what I did was the best thing and Milly would be happy with the place I chose. I just feel so sad though because now it feels like I'm grieving all over again, I really do feel empty and alone now, like she's really gone, like her spirit has been set free too.
Anyway, I'm gonna stop blabbing on now, you don't really need to know all this, I just felt like I had to rant about it, talk about my feelings for a moment, so sorry for talking like this, talking so depressive. But thank you if you did read this, I guess I also want to say, if you have a pet, any pet it don't matter what, cherish every moment with them cause you really don't know when it'll be the last, My girl was only 6 years old, we thought she'd live to at least 10.
But God had other plan's, I guess he really needed her, she was a special one though
The picture below is where I said my final goodbye, you can see what I mean on how the moment was lovely, the picture captures it quite well, sunset and all.
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Thanks again for listening to me rant on, I appreciate it
