thinking about you [muke af]

twenty six

twenty six

"I don't know!" Michael yelled, he pulled at the ends of his hair as he sat at his kitchen table.

"I hate that you live like this," Luke said with a clenched jaw.

Mike threw his head back, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms, "I'm sorry I have no idea where I will be Friday afternoon, stop being a bitch."

"I'm leaving in two weeks, Michael, do you even care?!" Luke was standing ten feet away from his boyfriend, his arms throwing to the side with every word. The veins in his neck were popping as his blue eyes sank to a deeper color. 

"Yes, of course I fucking care that the love of my life is leaving, but I'm going to pretend he isn't until the last possible moment!" Michael sat back up in his chair like a normal human. He never liked being yelled at, and he never liked staying still. He was afraid to look to his left and see Luke in a way he's never seen him before. 

"What're we gonna do, Mikey?"

He closed his eyes, wiping over his face once more, "I have no clue. I'm staying here in this shitty apartment with Cal. You're moving back home. That's all I know."

"There's no reason for me to stay here."

Michael looked at him for once, an angry expression written upon every facial feature. "There's no reason to stay? There's no reason to stay?! Why am I not a good enough reason?!" It was Michael's turn to yell. 

"I didn't mean it like that," Luke chilled his tone. He crossed his arms in a sassy-mother type of way. 

"I get it, you fucking hate who I am, but I fucking love you. I want to spend my life with you, Luke! Why can't you at least pretend to care about me for five fucking minutes?!"

"I do care about you, a lot! You know that!"

Michael stood up, brushing past Luke and heading down the dark hallway. The apartment was dead silent besides the creaking of Luke's steps following behind him. "Go home, Luke."

The blonde stood in the open doorway of Michael's room. He watched the younger boy get into his sheets, curling up in them and facing the wall. He did this often, Luke never knew why. 

It was just comforting for Michael. Sleep was the closest thing he'll ever have to death, and sometimes he likes that. Sometimes Michael needs that reminder. 

"Baby, I don't want to fight," he whined. 

Michael rolled his eyes once more, even though Luke couldn't see him. "Way too late for that. Go pack, apparently that's important to you."

"I'm not leaving you like this."

"I want to get married, Luke. I want to have kids and a house with you. I want to see the world with you. I want to be eighty-three and still whisper dirty pick-up lines in your ear and fuck you in the bathroom. But, that's not what you want." His voice was muffled from the sheets bunching around his neck along with his quiet voice facing the wall. 

The twenty-three year old bit his lip, he chose to ignore the last part. "I don't want that now. I'm young and I have no idea what I'm doing in life. I care about you, I just, I don't know." Luke took another step into the room when Michael didn't respond. 

He could see the pale shoulders shaking and it broke his heart. He rarely sees Michael show true emotion. He has this wall built around him and Luke is stuck on the outside. He saw him cry very few times, only because Luke forced himself into the situation. 

Luke kneeled on the floor next to Mike's mattress. He crawled behind the boy, wrapping an arm around his shaking body. The blonde brushed his fading blue hair out of his face, leaving a kiss to his side forehead. 

"I just really fucking love you," Michael's cracking voice whispered. 

Luke nodded, resting his head on top of Mike's. "I love you, a lot. More than you could even imagine. I'm always blunt with you—this is gonna be really hard. But, we're gonna do this, Babe. Don't ever doubt my love for you."

"What am I supposed to do when I can't sleep? Or when I forget to go grocery shopping? What am I supposed to do when I'm so stressed I'm about to fucking punch the wall?" He backed his body up, scooting closer to Luke's warmth until they were practically one blob of human. 

"You'll call me when you can't sleep, I'll probably be up. You'll order take out until you feel you're ready to face the scary aisles of Giant Eagle. You'll take some deep breaths, write some angsty songs, make some brownies."

Michael swallowed a dry lump in his throat, "What about when I miss you?"

"Just know that we'll be together again soon."

(a/n) sorry this is short.

the festival went really well, i love performing so much.

i'm going to edit the boy with the white eyes all this week because i cringe while reading it these days. were any of you around for white eyes?

either friday or saturday i'll start posting my new story, it's me, so look out for that :-)

love you always,

soph