thinking about you [muke af]

eleven

eleven 

From/ Mikey

what are we

Luke stared at the letters written on his screen, trying to come up with some type of response that doesn’t make him seem stupid.
He rolls over in bed, unplugging his phone and rolling back onto his back. 

From/ Lukey

I don’t know… what do you want to be?

Michael sighed as he read the message over and over again. It was an hour before noon and he was just getting around to breakfast. He placed his phone back on the counter, leaving the screen opened. 

He started going through the cabinets, looking for his sugar-ridden cereal. He pulled out a bowl that looked semi-clean and pulled the dry cereal into it. 

Mike sat on the counter with a silver spoon in hand, his phone in the other. 

From/ Mikey

am i yours or were we just in my head

Luke furrowed his eyebrows. He locked his phone and got out of bed. Dark denim jeans and a cotton tee shirt were on the floor and smelled okay. Luke picked them up along with a fresh pair of underwear. He headed to his ensuite bathroom, turning on the bright light. 

Michael saw the little Read at 11:13 and it did indeed slightly offend him. Was he too forward? 

He sighed. Mike slid his phone into his pocket (made sure the vibration was on) and headed to Calum’s room.
The door was closed which was odd. He knocked, waiting for some type of response from his goddess of a best friend. “Cal?” Michael whispered, turning the handle of the door. 

He peaked his head in, finding the light off and the sheets unmade. He furrowed his eyebrows, taking another bite of his cereal.
From/ Lukey

are you home?

Luke rinsed water over his face as he began to add volume to his flat hair. His eyes looked tired and swollen and he didn’t know why. He swears he’s been sleeping, but he still feels tired. 

From/ Mikey

yea, you can come over if you want

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on Michael’s door. He was still mindlessly eating his breakfast and sending his mother messages to reassure her that he is alive and well. 

Mike shoved his phone in his pocket (turning the vibration off now). He made his way through the small apartment, placing his half empty bowl on the coffee table by the door.

He opened the door to reveal Luke, a smile on his face. “Good morning,” Mike said, stepping aside to let him in. 

“It’s almost noon.”

“Exactly.”

Luke laughed and placed his hands in his pocket, “I always come over here to have the awkward conversations. I didn’t want to do this over text, I guess.”

“I don’t want you be your boy toy, Luke,” Michael said softly. He turned his back, took his breakfast, and walked back to the kitchen. 

Luke slid off his shoes, placing them in the usual pile. “I know that, but I don’t really want to be in a relationship. I have no idea where I’m going to be in the fall.” He followed the younger boy’s steps into the kitchen. 

Michael was sat on the little available space on the counter, he was still munching on his cereal. He shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know why you’re here then.”

“I don’t want to lead you on or anything. I do care about you, a lot, I just need to figure out what I’m doing with my life first.”

Michael let out a single laugh, “You need to figure out your life? Ha. Nice one.” He spun the circular, colorful cereal around with his spoon, watching it roll. 

Luke rolled his eyes. He crossed his legs and ankles as he leaned against the opposite counter, “I’m serious. You’re not the only one lost as hell.”

“You’re an education major, you’re bound to get a job just like all the little engineers. I have to do more than just fill out an application and cross my fingers, Lucas, don’t pretend your life is so difficult.”

“My name has never been Lucas,” he stated. 

Michael ignored him, “I have until August to get signed or else I have to admit failure and move back home with Mom and Dad. I don’t want to do that, Luke. I’m under so much stress right now, I’m running out of time, but I make time to suck your dick and bring you coffee.”

Luke didn’t know what to say. His eyes continued to watch Michael, letting him rant. 

“I’ve been trying to get signed since I was fifteen years old, and I feel like I’m so close, but there are still no offers! I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if I don’t get an offer, Luke!”

The blonde nodded, as if he understood. 

“You have literally no right to say you don’t want to be in a relationship because you don’t know where you’ll be in a few months. I don’t know where I’m going to be tonight! I don’t know anything! I’m so stressed out and—.”

Luke took a step forward, his long legs only needing a single step to reach Michael. The blonde placed his hands on Michael’s cheeks, his thumb rubbing over his high cheekbones. “It doesn’t matter if you know where you’ll be, you’ll make it out alive. I promise you that.” Luke didn’t like seeing the insecure side of Michael, he didn’t like it at all.

“I’m scared and I want to feel loved.”

Ashton looked at Luke’s note written on the kitchen table, he smiled at the younger boy’s handwriting. It looked liked a seven year old wrote it. 

His head raised when shirtless Calum came down. The younger boy gave Ash a smile as he stretched out his arms. Cal rested his head on Ashton’s back, leaving small kisses on the top of his spine. “I think you should wear turtleneck for the rest of the week,” Cal’s morning voice whispered. 

Ashton blushed, “I told you not to leave bruises.”

(a/n) i'm sorry i haven't updated. i'm playing this festival in a few weeks and i just saw the place we're playing last night and it's fucking huge. i ddn't know it was supposed to be such a big place. i've played festivals before, but never alone. i was always with my band. now it's just me and an acoustic guitar and the space seems so much bigger. i don't even have my fucking set list planned. they gave me an hour slot and i'm so screwed. 

sorry.

xo,

soph