thinking about you [muke af]

twenty seven

twenty seven

"I can't believe I'm done with school," Luke sighed. He looked at their living room, now empty of everything except the television and couch. He's never seen the apartment so empty. When he moved in with Ashton, it was right between his old roommate moving out. 

Ash sighed, picking up another brown box, "Lucky you." He handed it to Calum, who gladly took it out to the car. He was in a black muscle tee with low side cuts, Ashton's mouth watered every time he glanced at the toned torso of his partner. 

Almost six years of Luke's life fit into the back of his parent's two cars. He looked out the window, watching them close the trunk and start a conversation with Calum. "You'll look over Mike once I actually leave, right? Make sure he doesn't get sad or anything."

Ashton nodded, tying up his shoes then making sure the kitchen was empty. "Of course, Bud. You've got another week here, you could always stay."

Luke let out a deep breath as he grabbed the keys off of the coffee table. This was where he lost his virginity, right there on the ugly couch with a beautiful blue haired boy above him. It was where he started his first kitchen fire. It was where he learned how to be an adult. He didn't really want to move back home. 

"Let's go," he said, opening the front door once more. 

Ashton pulled him into a hug. "I need one last embrace in apartment 206."

Luke smiled, holding him tightly. He clutched his hands around Ashton's back muscles, resting his face in his best friend's neck. "I'm sorry I was a terrible roommate. I'm sorry I always made you unclog the toilet, and I'm sorry I was always naked."

Ash laughed, "We still have another week until you go back to Middle of Nowhere, Missouri."

"But, I won't walk downstairs and see you watching CNN anymore, I won't hear you singing to One Direction in the shower anymore, you won't make me grilled cheese anymore either!" Luke a step back, wiping his watering eyes. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

Ashton stood on the tips of his toes, leaning up and pecking Luke's cheek. "I'm gonna miss you more." He brushed past Luke, picking up the keys from Luke's hands and heading towards the office. 

Luke took one last breath in, trying to remember this moment forever. He stepped outside, the humid air causing sweat to rise. 

There were a few moments that Luke remembered for some unknown reason. 

He remembers breaking his arm at age eight. He jumped off the roof as a dare, landing on the dead, brown grass on his elbow. He screamed out in pain, and he still remembers staring up at the clear blue skies, his snickering brother helping him up. 

Luke remembers leaving fourth grade. He thought he was this big guy now, ready to go to the middle school. He remembers looking at the plastic chairs stacked in the corner, the empty desks looking so sad and empty. His knobby knees walked out of that tile classroom. 

He remembers crying the first day of fifth grade and throwing up before the bus came. He was scared, he thought it was the end of his life. 

Luke remembers kissing his best friend, he kissed him and realized he really liked it. His friend didn't, and that made the blonde boy upset. But, he was in a bliss. He cried that night, out of confusion and embarrassment and fear. He wishes he could tell fifteen year old Luke with the fringe in his eyes that it would be okay. His sexuality is just another amazing thing in the list of whom he is. 

He remembers getting to college, his roommate dropping out the first week to leave Luke alone in that dorm room. He remembers staring at the ceiling and listening to the buzz of the air conditioning go on and off and wondering if college was for him. Was life for him?