I woke up with a throbbing head. Ahh this feeling again. It's weird that I feel happy kahit na masakit ang ulo ko. Parang ang saya saya ng puso ko ngayon. Is this like a post graduation feeling because honestly sinong matutuwa sa hangover?
I was still wearing the same outfit from last night. I can't remember how I got home. I don't remember anything from last night events. Yeah, definitely hangover. Last night happened like a blur.
But I remember seeing Travis. Is it the alcohol doing or talagang nandun siya? But that's not possible. Baka panaginip ko lang na kasama ko si Travis doon. I always had dreams like that. I was too drunk to even see people clearly. Ang alam ko lang I was too happy and I keep on drinking shots given by my classmates. I was too preoccupied that hindi ko napansin na hindi ko na nakita ang mga boys.
Nang naramdaman kong tipsy na ako ay medyo nag lie low na ako sa paginom. Kasama ko ang mga club members kong pumunta ng dancefloor pero bigla nalang sila nawala. Muntik pa ako matumba good thing may nakahawak sa akin.
Ang alam ko ay kinulit niya ako. I thought after I say thank you ay okay na. Just where are the boys when I needed them.
'Yung lang ang naalala ko. After that all was a blur. Basta I had fun and everything else didn't matter anymore.
Kinuha ko ang cellphone kong tumutunog and it was Alex.
"Alex."
"Tara tambay!"
"Pass, kakagising ko lang at sumasakit ang ulo ko." Sabi ko at humiga ulit sa kama.
"Bilisan mo, hintayin ka namin dito sa baba." This time it was Greg.
Nanlaki ang mata ko. They are here?
"Nandito kayo?"
"Oo bilis na! Inuubos na ni Josh ang pagkain mo! Binilhan ka na rin namin ng aspirin."
Wala na akong nagawa kaya nagmadali na akong maligo kahit na sumasakit pa ang ulo ko. They won't take no for an answer anyway. Pagbaba ko ay napatingin sa akin si Charles habang busy ang iba sa pagtatawanan.
"Ayan na pala 'yung drinker natin!"
"We were just talking about you and here you are."
Napairap ako sa pangaasar nila. "Shut up!"
Umupo ako sa tabi ni Charles. "Who brought me home?"
Nagtinginan silang apat and Greg answered. "Hindi mo matandaan?"
"Do you think magtatanong pa ako kung naalala ko?"
"Just how drunk are you last night?" Nanliit ang mata ni Greg sa akin.
I was so drunk that I think I saw Travis last night. But of course I can't say it. "Enough to let me forget the events and my head hurts big time."
Ang sabi nila sa akin ay si Josh ang naghatid sa akin pauwi dahil magkalapit lang kami at siya ang pinakasober sa amin. Nakakapagtaka nga dahil ang alam ko ay siya ang pinakaunang nalalasing. Pero lahit anong isip ko ay hindi ko talaga matandaan na kay Josh ako sumabay. And it doesn't feel right parang nagsisinungaling sila pero bakit naman nila 'yun gagawin.
I dismissed the thought at sumama sa kung saan nila gustong tumambay.
xx
Pinagusapan namin ang college. We all chose the same university. It just so happen that gusto namin lahat 'yun and they don't want to be separated with each other.
"Walang busy busy, tatambay pa rin tayo ah." Sabi ni Josh na ayaw mahiwalay dahil malayo ang course na kinuha niya sa kanila.
"Puro ka tambay magaral ka nga!" Natatawang sabi ni Charles.
"Kala mo ang hilig mo magaral ah!" Josh retorted.
Ayan nanaman silang dalawa. Parang kambal na talaga sila dahil palagi silang nagaaway and they looked really alike.
"Wow, lumabas ako ng bahay para panoorin kayo magaway."
"Let's talk about last night then." Ani Alex. "You were so drunk. Are you allowed to drink that many?"
Here he is again in his sermon. "You should have stopped me! By the way, hindi ko na kayo nakita. You guys left me!"
How to get away with Alex's sermon? Ibalik ang kasalanan sa kanila.
"We were there. Hindi mo kami napapansin dahil kinakausap mo 'yung lalaki. Big girl na.." Pangaasar ni Greg sa akin.
"Hindi ko siya kinausap!" Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata.
"Nagkabar fight pa dahil sayo. Tsk." Iling ni Greg.
Kunot ang noo ko. Bakit hindi ko maalala 'yung mukha ng nakipagsuntukan? Nakikita ko siya as Travis sa utak ko pero alam kong hindi. I just know that something like that happened. So it was not a dream.
"Sino, Greg?"
Napatahimik siya because of that. Travis was there right? Alam kong siya 'yun. I might be drunk but I know how his touch feels and my heart knows him well to even forget.
"He was there." It was not a question. That is why I felt happy, my heart felt happy kahit na half conscious lang ako.
Again, they went silent. That confirmed it. "Where is he now?"
Walang sumasagot sa kanila. Gusto ko silang sigawan. "Josh, siya ang naghatid sa akin diba?" Nanginginig na ang boses ko. I want to shout at them for not telling me this. "Tell me! Where is Travis?"
Pumikit ako and I breathe. Kailangan kong kumalma. Ayaw kong magbreakdown aa harapan nila. Kinuha ko sa bag ko ang phone ko at agad ko hinanap ang pangalan niya doon. Bago ko pa mapindot ay hinawakan na ni Alex ang kamay ko. Napatingin ako sa kaniya.
"Does it matter? He left. Bumalik na siya kaninang umaga. Look at you, you're a strong girl. And don't cry," Pinahid niya ang luha sa pisngi ko.
"You're still the girl for him. He'll come back for you, he always do." Tsaka lang niya binitiwan ang kamay ko at hinayaan ako kung tatawagan ko pa siya o hindi.
Hinila ako ni Greg at pinasandal sa balikat niya habang nakaakbay siya sa akin. "He want me to tell you that he loves you and he always will. You know that right? Everything will be okay."
"Look at Josh, kahit ayaw niyan magaral pero tawagan mo lang yan, he'll be there basta may food." Ani Charles.
Natawa ako nang sapakin siya ni Josh. "Gago ka, ako nanaman! Wala naman connect pinagsasabi mo!"
I'm so lucky to have them. Nawala man ang isa but having the four of them here, parang kumpleto na rin kami.
