I Won't Mind - Ziam (major editing)

Chapter 4

I was lying in my bed all day, tucked in a warm and fluffy blanket. I keep snuggling to the blanket, trying to find a better side to get myself cuddled in. I'm humming once I find it. Feeling a way more than comfy and seems like I won't move from here until the next day.

I close my eyes as I try to drive myself off to sleep. And so unfortunately, I cannot sleep. I blink my eyes open and stare at the white ceilings on top of me. It's plain and it makes my mind wants to go anywhere it does like to. Moments after moments. They're all playing right on the ceilings, causing a full scene for me to watch.

From the way I joined the X Factor UK Audition in 2010 until the time I had a last group hug with my guys, and it was before I left. Leaving the band is a torture for me if I may be honest, but it does free me at the same time. Well, at least at first.

Nightmares are keep haunting me, no matter how hard I try to pay no care to them. They will only get more scary and even stronger each day. I'm not letting them grow, but they're growing as I am. Sometimes they make my body hurts from trembling too much. I want to scream out my lungs for a help, but who will help me anyways?

I think I hurt too many people out there, so maybe this is the punishment I should gladly accept. But I can't stand it where the pain is too real to even call it as depression. I don't want to be the one to blame, though I know that was my fault. I was too reckless but I just tried to save myself out. But maybe I took a wrong step.

I blink my eyes again for a few times untill all those scenes dissapear from the ceilings. I feel hot tears streaming down my face, drooling down. My body trembles, I hug myself tight as if it was about to crash into pieces. I'm a failure and I'll never can fix it.

***

Liam's POV

"So, have you met Zayn?"

Niall throws his arm around my shoulders, an excited tone in his sentence. I'm thinking back about days ago where I stayed in his house for a night and the morning after. And how I asked him to be with me in a relationship, a farther relationship. I looked at the other direction while answering, "I have,"

I know Niall was enlarging his smile when he squeaks, "tell me about everything!"

I let out a chuckle, "um, later.."

"Now! Please?"

A sigh this time, "okay, okay"

I rest my back to the couch we're seated on and start to tell him about everything, "so.. three days ago I came to his house at night. Well, that was because he couldn't sleep that night so I drove there and cuddled him until he fell asleep."

"Aww, where were you when he woke up in the next morning?"

"I was there, right next to him but it was before he woke up, and soon I decided to make something to eat for our breakfast" I turn my face to look at Niall's face, his eyes are glowing lovingly and I can tell that he is happy with my explanation.

"You know what?" he asks.

"What?"

"You two are in love!" he screams the words out.

A deep flush appearing on my both cheeks, "oh you shut up, Neil"

"Hey don't call me like that!" he pouts. "And what happened next? Tell me the whole story, I'm all ears"

I remember well with what happened next, I was finally dare myself to say those words. "Well.."

"I asked him to be my boyfriend," and that's what makes Niall gasps out loud.

"What did he say?? Did he say yes? Better be!" he moves in front of me and keep shaking my shoulders, I can see all his excitement.

"Unfortunately, he said it's too soon so it was a no."

"What?? How come it is too soon? I mean, it's been almost five years! He can't do that!"

I can only give him a smile, "he needs time to be on his own."

"Yeah, but-"

"He will say yes whenever he is ready, Niall. I know it"

He sighs, "did you guys even share a kiss?"

"No!" I shake my head, "I can't just do that if he doesn't want it"

"He does want it, Liam" another sigh from Niall.

"No, he doesn't"

"He does"

"He wasn't ready.."

"Make him then."

A slight whimper comes out of my mouth, "Niall,"

"Liam," he replies.

I sigh, "okay I will try again"

He smiles, satisfied. "Good then," I rolled my eyes before he talks again. "I can't wait."