"Cause we are who we are when no one's watching,
And right from the start you know I got you,
Yeah you know I got you
I won't mind
Even though I know you'll never be mine"
A story based on Zayn and Liam's real life activities after Zayn left the ban...
I grin from ear to ear as I scroll down my timeline. Funny to know how desperate we are showing off each other's love to public by things most people won't notice.
He left early in the morning to go back to London. I was very happy to spend days with him alone in my house. Some days with him were very meaningful to me.
I keep scrolling down and laugh at his quick interview with some paps. The funniest part is when he's being asked if he has wished me a happy birthday and he pretended that he wished me a bit late. In fact, he spent days in my house and celebrated my birthday here with me.
Funny how we, me and Liam have to fake our life and lie to people.. I just want to be myself and fück what others think about me. Sometimes it gets me sick to keep telling people the same lies again and again.
Move on to another topic, I've teased people about my new single. I love how they respond to me. I did the photoshoot and all right on the days just before Liam got here. He hasn't saw my pictures because I want to tease him instead with my shirtless photoshoot for my single art.
I'm getting more confident each day knowing people would really love my music. But I still worry how would they react once my music is out. I'm nervous, it's all that I feel right now.
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Two days later, my brothers release their newest music video for their single titled 'History'. Liam is the first to tell me to watch the video.
From: Liam hit YouTube now babe ;)
The winky face he sends to me somehow makes me wonder what's up on YouTube. So when I get into it, I finally know what does he mean. The video is on the top of "Recently Added" playlist which is make my heart shatters because, wow, I'm shaking. Not in the bad way though, it feels like when you're too excited about something or whatevs..
It starts playing, with four of them singing beside each other. But then it plays throwback moments with black and white mode. Right from we united together as a band, X Factor days, our tour and other unforgettable memories we had together.
This video is honestly sending chill all over my body, thinking about our past won't help myself much. My eyes are starting to filled with tears. Happy tears, of course. It's very cool to remember those good old days, which I will never ever forget about. The memories will stay with me forever, I have promised myself.
I'm very grateful at the same time that they do put me in the video and not cutting myself out of it like they did to our old photoshoots. I know I'm the one who left, but when they did it, it cuts my heart a little out of nowhere. Like, hello? I was there!
They don't put many moments of me and Liam though, I know people are going to freak out if they do. And I don't mind either. No matter how much me and Liam want to come out, the management will always have their ways to hold us back down.
And I don't sleep that night, instead I'm watching the video again and again until it's over twenty times. Very happy to watching it and throwing back at the same time. Hope that I could replay those good moments on these days now.
