I Won't Mind - Ziam (major editing)

Chapter 22

I'm literally banging my head to the wall.

Everything's doing so good so far, but then he changed it and turned it all around. I'm not blaming him for that but can't he just celebrate things with me right now because, I'm completely free from stupid contracts.

And my biggest question right now, does she even need to act like I was the bad guy in the 'relationship'? Or maybe her management told her to? But seriously, why can't they get enough of torturing my life.. I'm just tired and I don't even care if I don't have back ups.

I'm proud of myself that I choose to take care of my own feelings. Even though I don't like it when people making fun of me, I know I don't have to worry because none of those fat jokes are true.

Forgive and forget. That's all what I need to do. Because not all people can be enough for the others.

I'm getting more and more tattoos in these past weeks. The stories behind each of them will always stay with me. From chequered flag to lotus, which signifies the end of the line and rebirth. I will keep that in my mind.

Back to Liam, it's been two days since we fought through text messages by the way. I'm keeping myself distant from him. Not that I'm mad or what, I guess he's just busy and need time to focus on his career. Maybe.

But I'm jealous seeing his latest pictures always with that Sofa. I wish I was there, I wish I was the one with him at the moment. Now I wonder who's fault we were talking about.

He doesn't want to me to get busy again and stuff because soon or later it'll decrease our chance to come out. But I just can't sit my ass down at home every single day waiting for him to visit me, because on the other side he's busier than busy. Touring from country to country almost everyday. Not even able to have his phone in hands more than two hours a day.

Now I'm helping us slowly with totally freeing myself and drop everything I used to do with my ex- management. And he doesn't even thank me for that. Alright. Why can't he just 'break up' with Sofa and go straight helping me make music so people will assume that we're actually real? Even real-er than your mother's womb.

I keep attending parties, getting drunk only to forget about Liam. Having temporary fun. I'm a mess and my life is already a joke. But I promised to never let anyone down anymore, so I keep doing what I'm doing. I'm trying to reach my best for those beautiful people out there.

Liam isn't the only thing I should be think of.

But how can I keep up with the words when Liam is the only reason I would sell my soul to the demons? Even he's getting hotter and hotter each day! And I want to have him all day so I can watch him increasing his hotness.

Well, maybe I'm the first one who has to say sorry. Maybe I should try to start everything and make anything into good things from now. Because staying the same is a shame.