I've been pacing around my room for hours now, thinking about what Liam said earlier. I have never imagined if putting myself first would be like this. It will always ended up with me being the one to blame, though all I want to do is saving everyone.
I got an invitation to attend Summertime Ball and they want me to perform some of my songs there. This is really a good chance for me to raise my solo career. But also, I'll face ninety thousand people. Literally a sea of people. And I'm not used to facing huge crowds alone..
The guys used to be there, helping me through my anxiety. And now? I don't have anyone beside my family. I know there are many but I find it hard to talk. I'm used to keeping it all to myself.
I never talked to my family about this before except my Mum and Jawaad. But still, not so often. I feel like sometimes, just sometimes, the boys understand me better than my own family. That's because I've spent days after days with them and when I got gome, I just slept for weeks before going back to work with the lads.
Now I don't have them around me so I gotta deal with my fear all by myself. I can't tell Mum because she'd be upset. This is such a big event. Still so far from Grammy but the amount of the crowds consider massive. And I just can't help myself for being afraid of facing loads of people.
As much as I love doing my solo career, a little part of me wants to get back together with the band.
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I Won't Mind - Ziam (major editing)
Fanfiction"Cause we are who we are when no one's watching, And right from the start you know I got you, Yeah you know I got you I won't mind Even though I know you'll never be mine" A story based on Zayn and Liam's real life activities after Zayn left the ban...
