I Won't Mind - Ziam (major editing)

Chapter 20

Zayn's POV

"Seems like you're gone busy now.. "

I let out a sigh. My feelings are officially mixed, I'm feeling both happy and the opposite. In these few days everything happens so quick, I sometimes even feel like I cannot be fair for him and myself.

But Liam does the same anyway, he keeps dropping bomb and rolling with the lads. Not that I hate it, I just feel jealous sometime. They can have him everyday a week but I can only hear his voice through the phone calls.

"So you are," I keep my voice low. "You just surprised people out there with your new gun."

"Oh like you didn't," he's challenging now.

I actually don't really like it when me and Liam are arguing over small, even dumb things. I know we're both busy now but at least we promised each other to not forgetting each other. I support him and the others then why can't he just be happy with me starting a new career again?

"Liam, you probably should just agree with my decision about going solo." I finish with a sigh, again. More frustrated this time.

"I support you, Zayn. But then it's all now different. I thought we're gonna be free soon but there you are now."

I just don't understand anymore. Every single one of my decisions always seems so wrong. I really don't know what to do anymore. Right now I just really want to be with myself and I.

"What do you want, Liam?"

I'm already fed up with everything at the moment. I'm so depressed thinking about many things but on the other side I know should take care of myself too. And I know what I'm doing then I don't need anyone to tell me what to do.

"To marry you, Zayn." Now believe me when I say everything happens so quickly. I love Liam and he loves me too, but I have never expected him to marry me, or confess how deep is his love to me. Cause we're not even together..

Then it finally hits me why he doesn't really like the idea I continue my career this soon. He knows we won't be able to come out if we're still busy.

I honestly want the same thing as him. I want my love life to grow, not only my career. We're both just want to be able to love each other in public, without worry's. But we have to learn how to be fair.

"Liam," I sigh, "I'm proud of you. I'm so so proud about you and the new single. Honestly, I cried over the song. I imagined how it would be if my voice was there but, I'm enjoying my new brand life plus I know what I'm doing, so please just let me try to fix myself alright? Let me try to satisfy myself?"

"Zayn-"

"Please, Li. It's the least I can do with my life. I know you can't wait to have me so do I, but let's just take it slow. We're both young and we could be reckless anytime. I want you to think about it again.."

All my words bringing silence to fill the air. I can only hear him breathing through the phone but I'm not even bothered with him being mute after.

Liam clears his throat before speaking, "I'm doing this for you because I feel guilty, Zayn." His voice is thick now, just like when he held back tears. "I can give people what they want, but not you. I cannot even make you happy."

"You make me happy." I confess.

It's true. Liam always makes me happy. He makes me feel like I'm wanted, he showed me who is the real me. He told me to love my own self and take care of my own feelings.

He's the reason behind me feeling secure and not insecure anymore. Liam has his arms open wide for me, he has his shoulders for me to cry on. He has got every little thing that I have ever needed.

But when I'm doing things he wants me to do, why would he complain to me? Like it was all my fault that we can't having each other. I just want to do what's best for me and people, and I'm honestly trying but all that I have got was broken promises.

"You really make me happy without even trying, I'm glad you love me." I whisper the last sentence, not knowing if it was the right or wrong thing to say but I just can't help myself.

"I love you, Liam. You know that."

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sorry for the long wait, loves! I just had a surgery yesterday.. and I'm so sorry if this too short but,

I have to say this is an important chapter because the next chapters will be different. maybe more dramas and stuffs.

so please keep sending me all your votes and sweet comments because I'm honestly waiting every after I posted a new chap. xx

#zquad