Light our Shadows

Ch 11: Aimless Musings

They didn't have time to putter around. Sasuke was getting impatient. He didn't trust his father. Not with Young Naruto. Hell, he didn't even trust his ignorant ass with his own younger self's safety either. Not anymore. No way in hell. Fuck him. Even if he was his father. The man had proven himself to be a real piece of shit. Condemning him to disownment for following his heart? Seriously? It made his blood boil just thinking about it.

Seeing how much he got under his skin Naruto was in no rush to stay either. The aim was to be out of the house before Fugaku got home from work. Sasuke hoped he was straining his eyes with a mountain of paperwork. His younger self was already packing a bag in preparation for departure. Naruto was giving his past self a much needed bath. Everyone was starving, no one had eaten all day, but that was nothing some Ichiraku ramen couldn't fix in a little while. Surely appeasing the little Naruto couldn't hurt. It would put warm food in them at the very least.

Sasuke surveyed his childhood home, walking idly through the halls out of boredom. He eyed some photos on the wall as he passed them by. Grandparents he had no recollection of. Relatives whose names he couldn't even remember. His young self surrounded by loved ones. He fingered the frames. Family that had been swiped away. Sasuke paused as he came to the center most frame. His eyes trembled with emotion as he gazed at the photo. This one he actually remembered.

It had to have been taken a few summers ago if Sasuke had to wager a guess. Some carnival had come to the village or maybe it was just a festival. In either case, there were games and tasty snacks. Real fun stuff for a kid as small as he'd been. His father took the day off. His mother had shirked the daily house work. Itachi had scooped him up and said they were going to have a real fun day. They went to that carnival as a family. All four of them. He'd been so excited. Itachi would play whatever throwing star game his little self insisted Itachi just had to do. He used to love watching Itachi throw shuriken. His big brother nailed it every time. Him and his father would share proud smiles. His mom would give Itachi's shoulders a squeeze.

Late in the day when it was almost time to go, Itachi had even made him try a kunai throwing game himself. He wasn't as good as Itachi of course. Sasuke never was. He'd missed three times in a row, since he'd tried to copy Itachi and throw with his right hand. His father had huffed. The man insisted they had played enough. Itachi protested. His father agreed to one more game but that was it. He'd known his father wasn't impressed. He was disappointed in him. In turn, Sasuke had been disappointed in himself. He doubted he really could do it. Itachi's faith was misplaced. He just wanted to go home.

His mom must have noticed. The woman was always perceptive. She'd made the gentle suggestion of switching hands. His little self had stuck up his nose. What did his mom know about throwing shuriken? She wasn't a ninja anymore. He'd thought it was completely stupid. What difference would it make? Itachi always threw with his right hand. Why should he do it different? Still he humored her. Threw with his left. He'd hit the bullseye dead center.

He'd been so elated. His mom clapped her hands together in delight just for him. He'd won his green dinosaur all by himself. Itachi carried him on his shoulders. His dad had even given him a pat on the head. When they got home, His father and mother sat drinking sake on the back porch. Itachi let him use his shuriken and showed him all types of cool tricks. His younger self  threw shuriken with his left hand til he could barely feel it. All center strikes. That clinched it. The family discovered he was left handed.

They took the picture that afternoon in front of the ninja tool infested target.

Sasuke sighed to himself, and turned away from the photos. He leaned on the banister opposite the framed wall. He shut his eyes and hung his head. Days like that were far away and long since gone. Even for his younger self. Now there was just...He let the thought trail away before it could begin. What was he even doing back here? Being in this house, with his long since dead family, it was only hurting him more. And, Sasuke realized, as he gazed down at his mother, who looked far more tired than she'd been this morning, his presence wasn't only hurting himself.

Mikoto was in the kitchen clearing out the bottom most cabinet. Sasuke's earlier abuse towards their kitchen table had resulted in some cracked plates in the lower cabinets. She'd just finished tending to the last of the debris when Sasuke slowly walked to stand in the kitchen doorway.

"Hey mom..." Sasuke began, black nails tapping lightly against the doorway out of nervousness. Another apology was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it back. Swallowed to keep it from escaping. What good would another I'm sorry really do? His actions, his anger, the budding wisps of fury and animosity that his younger self was only beginning to display shown fully realized in his adulthood, it had broken her heart to see it. That was the truth of it. Even if his Dad had received the fury it was his mother who was left to pick up the pieces. Simple words wouldn't fix that. "...is it okay if I make some tea?"

Mikoto smiled softly at him. Sasuke resisted the urge to shift his weight under her gaze. He didn't deserve that smile. Not one bit.

"Of course you can, Sasuke." Mikoto replied. "You don't have to ask me."

"I know." Sasuke nodded tentatively. He felt too old and too young at the same time. It was strange. Being here. In this house. With his father, mother and brother here. It was his family but it wasn't. He was home but he wasn't. He'd outgrown this place. He felt more like an intruder than a guest. "Habit, I guess."

He moved over to the counter and got the kettle ready. His eyes shifted along the closed cabinets. It had been so long...he'd never really bothered to note where his mother kept the tea as a child. He didn't want to look like an idiot and rummage around every single cabinet either. The action seemed really rude. He drummed his fingers on the counter top staring at the doors like they were locked tight and he didn't have the key.

"Top shelf, sweetheart." Mikoto reminded. She walked up beside him and swung open the cabinet door the tea was hiding behind.

"Thanks...Um," Sasuke grabbed the tea from the top shelf with ease and opened the box. He shyly angled his head towards his mother. "Would you like any?"

Mikoto smiled and nodded her head. "That would be nice. Thank you, Sasuke."

"Hn." Sasuke's lips quirked upwards.

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And here's another chapter guys! Next one'll be Sasuke cooking and being the good boy that he is! Naruto might get flirty we'll see. No great big questions for you guys to answer this time but I'd love to know how your liking the story so far if you've got the time!