Please Remember

Samantha

Sean means everything to me and if I can't be happy with him or make him happy anymore... There is no use to me.

I looked down at my IPhone, begging for him to text me back. I had apologized a million times and even called him about 30 times and left voice mails. I had tear stains upon my cheeks. My arms were full of scratches from me tearing at my own skin. I was crouched on the floor. I was too paralyzed to move. I glanced at my phone, one last time, no reply. I gave up.

I got up with all my strength and headed to the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. I wiped away the tear stains with a damp rag. I brushed my teeth and put on some fresh make up. I changed my outfit from a pair of jean short and plain white tee to a black dress with a white sash. I stood by the sink.

I opened the mirror cabinet. I saw pill bottles and pill bottles for my parents. They didn't really need them anymore. I saw some different kinds of pain killers. Some really weak and some really strong. I didn't care. I put all the pills bottles in a nice row along the perimeter of the sink. I opened each and poured 5 pills each into my hand. After I was done, I counted. I had 60 pills in my hand. I looked at myself in the mirror one more time to make sure I looked good. I had the water running. I cupped my available hand and got some water. I poured it into my mouth and had the pills ready. I did a quick prayer.

 God, I thought, please watch over my family for me. All I really was, was a waste of space. They will have more money with me gone. Now, my little sister will have a room of her own. That's great! Also, watch over Sean. He may not be mine anymore, but I love him with all of me. My presence hurts him, and I no longer want to hurt him. Please, make the pain quick.

I shot all the pills into my mouth and swallowed them. After a minute, I threw up on the floor. I coughed and tried to breathe but the puke kept coming out. I couldn't stop it. My body went numb and I lied on the ground. I couldn't move. My vision was starting to go black, slowly. The sounds around me seemed to faint away. All I remembered was hearing my door bang open. I saw Tiffany rush in and she screamed. Then, Sean came into sight. He swatted down to see my face.

"Please, don't die on me." Tears started to stroll down his face. "Call the ambulance!" He yelled to Tiffany. I closed my eyes. I stopped listening completely.