Dancing in the Oaks

What do I think of him?

The drive to the funeral home was a very long one, in fact, the longest in my life. This was something that filled my soul with constant dread. I was not looking forward to this one bit. It made me feel alone with a deep feeling of hatred inside of me. I felt guilty almost as if I was a part of something I should not have been. It didn't make clear sense to me why.  Nick turned on the warm air because I was cold. I turned on the radio because I needed something to get my mind off this whole ordeal. Nick's truck is nice. It has a gray interior with camo covered seats. I switched stations from the talk station to the country station. "Hmm country?" Nick asked with a smirk.

I looked over at him from staring out the window. "Yeah, I love country, you?" I couldn't believe he questioned that. I have always been intrigued with that type of music. It is nice for the ears providing a nostalgic feeling.

"Yeah, I love it. I play it on my guitar and sing it all the time. Love this genre, in fact, it's my favorite." His eyes checked the rear view mirror.

Finally arriving at the place was something I never fathomed having to endure. The reality of the situation hit me. If I had the choice I wouldn't have done this at all. It's not going to be good. I always have that feeling when something isn't going to go well. Nick held the door open for me as I walked in. The place smelled strange, almost like a chemical madhouse. "Hello, my name is Tom. I am the funeral director. Today you will be speaking with the pathologist. His name is David Greenfield. I know this is tough, so we are here to walk you through this. I'm going to ask you a couple questions first. Who did you bring with you? Tell me about him." Why would he ask me such a personal question about Nick? I didn't even wanna answer some guy's questions. I wasn't in the mood for interrogation. I just wanted to get this done.

"This isn't one of those weird mind reading things is it?" I asked kind of rudely.

"No it's not ma'am. I'm just trying to get your mind comfortable." He gave a small smile. This guy reminded me of Dennis Brinkerhoff. He was a guy I went to school with back in Bakersfield.

"You want me to tell you what I think about him?  Like what do you want? You left that a little vague." I was so nervous I didn't know what to say. I felt as if I was sassing the guy to death with my snippy questions back at his questions.

"Yeah. Tell me whatever you want. It's confidential. Do not worry, I know that you are scared. I am just trying to get your mind clearer a little." He acted like someone I didn't wanna talk to.

I thought for a good few seconds. "Alright, so this is Nicholas. He lets me call him Nick. I met him in the store. He's a great young man. You know, red plaid shirt and brown cowboy hat with deep eyes of course. His hair is nicer than mine. Uhm Nick is a literal cowboy that owns cattle. Very attractive. I don't know. His kindness spans further than the boundaries of the universe. Yep, that's Nick." I let out a big smile. That was the first big smile in a few days. I guess Tom's 'mind tricks' worked.

The funeral director then proceeded to state, "Great. You're a great guy Nick, for helping her through this. Alright, how do you feel about this? I know that is a deep question, but I thought I'd do a little bit of background. I want to know this because we are here to help." The director had pale skin with black glasses. He wore a solid black belt that held his pants up right above his belly button. His tie was all red with splashes of orange. He did have well cut black hair that touched his ears. It appeared as if Tom was in his late forties.

Nick and I proceeded to sit down on the bench in front of the window. "I'm doing alright. I mean this is taking a toll on my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects. I took care of my parents and siblings for four months. They almost died and then someone took my care and efforts away. That's so not right. My emotions are a roller coaster. Everyday has its ups and downs. I'm lucky to have Nick to help out with things."