My Phobia Man

6. A Desperate Request

We were not even halfway through May, but I was already exhausted. My sleeping and working patterns were all messed up, so I had to adjust my deadlines all the time, which didn't make my agent any happy. As if the nuisance and my agent weren't enough, my mother also started to insist on seeing my new flat. Okay, if it was only a tea meeting, I would be happy to see her. However, as my parents were living at the end of the city, I knew she would force me to let her stay the night, if not a week. She did the same for the last few years to check on me at nights. I know she just didn't believe me when I said I was okay.

Ironically, this time the problem wasn't only me, but also the nuisance. How could I let my mother sleep in my flat when I knew she would be terrified by the screams coming from next door? She would definitely try to convince me to move into another flat, fearing for my trauma to be triggered.

Well, it would make sense, right? Then why was I jibbing to keep this flat with thin walls and a disturbing neighbour?

I wasn't sure. Maybe it was because I didn't have any energy to plan another move out, or because I felt bad about leaving the nuisance alone with his nightmares or maybe because I wanted to see his process to cope with his whatever trauma...

With many questions in my mind, I showed my mom around with a video call and hoped it would suffice to subdue her desire to pay me a visit.

Once done, throwing my phone on the sofa, I relaxed my mouth muscles which weren't used to fake smiling that much.

Knock... knock...

Hearing the door, my hand in between my short hair halted. Three knocks for the apartment owner, two knocks for the nuisance. Wondering what it was this time, I pulled myself off the sofa and walked to the door.

"Hey, Veera," the nuisance waved his hand tiredly and pointed at my door knob where there was a red item like a pouch hung, "I bought one for you as well, hope this one will work; otherwise you need to burn that book about nightmares."

"Omamori amulet?" I asked with a neutral tone, "what happened to the stones?"

He directed a sad smile to me, "they aren't working as you may already know."

"Oh." What else could I say?

"Whatever!" he clapped his hands, "maybe ommomari will work!"

"Omamori," I corrected him instinctively and he chuckled softly, not minding.

"See you," he waved his hand again before walking to his flat tiredly.

For the first time I didn't close the door to his face, so it felt a bit strange. Holding the small pouch in my big hand, I decided to give it a shot. Nothing to lose, right?

Lying on my bed in the dark, I placed the omamori amulet on my bedside table carefully and sent a silent prayer for it to work.

.

.

It didn't.

Screams and music... as usual...

With groggy eyes, I looked at the hardly visible pouch with disappointment. It had only one job to do, yet it failed miserably.

.

.

I missed the deadline. Again. But luckily, I already had the chapter, I just slept over and couldn't send it on time. I listened to my agent patiently while she berated me and put the blame on a glitch for the delay. When she finally hung up the phone, I sent her the chapter and then my stomach rumbled to let me know it was its turn to be attended.

While I was looking through my contacts to decide what to eat for dinner, the door was knocked. Two times. It was the nuisance.

As I was now used to his constant pestering, my heartbeats remained normal and without a delay, I opened the door.

"Hi, Veera, I bought you dinner," the nuisance announced with a tiny smile and reached the brown bag forward towards me.

While I was thinking how pitiful he looked with those purple eyebags, lightless eyes and stooped shoulders, my hand acted on his own and got the bag from his hand.

The change was instant. The lustre returned his eyes out of nowhere and his smile was genuine this time. Not understanding what happened, I followed his line of vision and saw that he was looking at my hand holding the bag.

Then I realised what I did. I GOT THE BAG FROM HIS HAND!

Being shocked, I wanted to close the door to evaluate the situation as it was the first time in four year.

"Veera," the nuisance grabbed the edge of the door, preventing me from closing it.

I looked at him blankly, my mouth suddenly so dry to form any words.

Seeing I wouldn't close the door to his face, he let go of the door and interlocked his fingers in front of him in a nervous manner. He took a deep breath and blurted out "sleep with me!"

"HA?!" I exclaimed with shock and took a step back defensively.

"Oh not that!" the nuisance shook his small hands vigorously as if to disperse his previous words.

I threw him a suspicious glance and grabbed the door knob threateningly.

He rubbed his nape while saying "well, you know I can't sleep at all and my body can't take it anymore. I broke three glasses and served the wrong plates two times. I am afraid, at this rate, I will be fired," he took a tired breath, "I know you are not comfortable with strangers, but we are not strangers anymore, right?"

There was too much to process, so I remained silent for the time being.

"So," he continued shyly, "I was thinking if you would help me... to sleep."

I gaped at him with wide open eyes while my heartbeat started to rage against my chest with panic. My hand tightened around the door to anchor myself and I managed to squeeze some words through my squeezed throat.

"I... I can't..."

"Veera, please, I kno-"

Fearing he would enter my flat, I closed the door to his face. As I had no strength left, I slumped on the floor, my back resting against the door.

"Veera, I am really desperate, please... one night is enough."

I heard the nuisance through the door, but I was unable to do anything even if I wanted to. Even speaking with a stranger was a big deal for me, so there was no way I could let a stranger into my flat, let alone going to someone else's flat. And sleeping? Come on! I couldn't even sit on a sofa without having an attack.

Why me? I wondered, why did he choose me, a mere stranger to put this huge responsibility and trust? Didn't he realise I wasn't normal? Didn't he have anyone close to him to ask for help? Was he that lonely?

"Veera, can I at least stay here? You don't have to open the door."

Jeez, why did he have to sound so desperate? I felt like a villain as I knew the pain of being alone when you needed someone. I rubbed my face with reproach and rose to my feet. From the drawer, I got my anxiety medication bottle and swallowed a pill with some water. Then I walked to the door back and taking a deep breath, I opened the door ajar.

"I can't take you in," I said with an apologetic voice to the figure sitting on the ground, "but I can sit near the door."

"Really?" he asked with hope.

I nodded and sat on the floor to prove him. I rested my back on the wall and he did the same on the other side. Now, we were sitting back to back, the wall separating us.

"Can you put your hand where I can see?"