My Phobia Man

12. Care Too Much

Talay was gaping at me, but it wasn't surprising as I would do the same if I could look at myself.

Come on, what possessed me that I told him to stay in my flat for the night?!!!!!

"I feel better, so no need... really," Talay tried to reassure me thoughtfully, but word spoken is past recalling, right?

"It is okay, just stay here, you can't sleep on the terrace in this condition," I insisted while giving him the spoon.

"O-kay," he nodded with a shy smile, "but if you feel uncomfortable, tell me, I will leave immediately. You already did more than enough."

I just nodded even though I would never do such a thing. In order to drop the topic, I urged Talay to finish his food, while I ate my own meal. After the meal, I gave him the medicine and soon, he fell asleep again. I checked his fever and as he still felt a bit warm, I put another cold towel on his forehead. After tucking him under the blanket, I sat in front of my laptop to write my novel.

For the next two hours, only the keyboard sound and Talay's breathing were heard inside the flat. Although I wasn't used to having another living creature inside my habitat, his regular breaths gave me a sense of calmness.

Maybe he wasn't that bad to have him around after all...

"Did I wake you up last night?"

Hearing Talay, I closed the laptop lid to prevent him seeing what I was doing. Then I half turned on my seat to look at him. He was half sitting on the bed with the towel I put on forehead in his hand.

"You had another nightmare, but it didn't last long."

"I wonder how come I didn't wake up," he said, rubbing his temple with his free hand, "I don't even remember having a nightmare."

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" I reasoned and he looked at me with confusion.

"Not for you though, I ruined your peace."

It was a logical thought, yet somehow I felt more at ease than before. Indeed, sleeping in awkward positions and waking up in the middle of the night were not favourable, but maybe that's why I didn't have an attack for a while and even saw Somsak in a good dream.

"I am at peace, more than ever," I said with sincerity and without waiting for his reply, I stood up and walked towards the kitchen area to prepare some herbal tea for Talay and coffee for myself.

"Did you really mean that?" Talay asked me softly when I returned with the cups.

I nodded and looking at him, I saw his eyes were moistened. Panicking, I asked "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he shook his head softly, "I am just glad that you don't see me as a burden."

Do I need to say that I was tongue-tied again? No, right? How about my inability to say something nice? No, right?

"Don't cry or your fever will relapse."

He chuckled and looked up to fight the tears. Then with a smile, he started to drink herbal tea while I sat on the sofa.

"You sure read a lot," Talay commented, pointing towards my huge bookcase. Then something attracted his attention and leaving the mug on the bedside table, he rose to his feet. He approached my bookcase and tilted his head to check the titles of the books. Then suddenly he turned towards me with wide open eyes.

"You are a real fan of AREV!" he exclaimed, then of course coughed.

Rolling my eyes in the face of his carelessness, I grabbed his mug and gave him back to him. Averting his eyes, he took a sip, but he had no intention to drop the topic.

"What is your favourite novel of his?"

"It's Time to Say Goodbye," I replied with pure honesty. It was my first novel, which I wrote after Somsak's death. I put my heart, soul, anger and grief into it and thanks to it, I found the courage to rise onto my feet again, no matter how much I was broken.

"It is a sad one, more than scary," Talay replied softly, which astonished me. How come he figured it out?

"And yours?" I asked with curiosity.

"I love all of them," he answered, running his fingers gently on my books.

"Really? But you said 'It's Time to Say Goodbye' was more sad than scary," I challenged him without a reason.

"I don't love them just because they are good horror books, I love them because they give good messages and hope in the end."

"Hope?" I asked with confusion as it wasn't something I planned to do.

He nodded, then leaned on the bookcase with a tired expression, so I rushed and assisted him back to the bed.

"Don't walk around, rest properly," I reprimanded him and he gave me a military greeting playfully.

Though his spirit was as hyper as usual, his body was still fighting with the cold. Therefore, after finishing his tea, he fell asleep again in a sitting position. He was really like a naughty kid who needed constant scolding. Yet, he was sick...

Sighing in helplessness, I laid him properly on the bed and covered him with the blanket. Without knowing why, I also arranged his messy yet silky blue hair in a way not to cover his small face. Seeing his cute sleeping face, I changed my previous thought and decided he was a playful puppy, not a naughty child.

I found myself smiling with the thought and that twitch of muscles brought me back to my senses. Swiftly, I retracted my hand and went back to the sofa, abashed. I hoped it wouldn't count as sexual harassment.

As my mind was in chaos because of the certain unaware sleeping man, I couldn't focus on anything. With an opened book which stuck on the same page, I sat still on my sofa until the sun shifted in its position. Only then, I grabbed my phone and ordered the second porridge of the day.

As if feeling the food was on the way, Talay woke up, mumbling something.

"Ha?" I asked, thinking he was talking to me.

"It is hot," he repeated in human language and saved himself from the blanket, "I need a shower."

I looked at him blankly as he rose to his feet.

"I will be quick," he said and walked towards the door, then he realised he didn't have his keys, so he veered towards the terrace door.

"But you are sick, what if something happens?" I said concernedly when I found my voice.

He laughed with his still sleepy voice, "I am clumsy, but not to this extent," he said and walked out of the terrace door.

Well, it wasn't reassuring. Not at all...

Wait, why the hell did I care that much?!!!!