My Phobia Man

14. Why?!

Four years...

"Did you try to search for-"

I couldn't finish as a light object which turned out to be Talay's head fell on my shoulder. I sighed with disappointment as I really wanted to ask him further about the accident, but I was still happy that he managed to sleep again. Carefully I laid him on the bed and adjusted the blanket for him. Luckily, there was no sign of fever, so I lay next to him tiredly.

Maybe because he poured out most of his secrets to me, I felt very close to him and my protectiveness towards him tenfolded. Looking at his cute little face, I made a silent promise to protect him from any future harm and drifted off to sleep while the first lights of the day started to raise their heads.

.

.

The constant vibration woke me up.

With no little irritation, I checked around with my half open eyes and saw that the cause of my annoyance was Talay's phone, which was on the dining table.

I dragged my feet towards the table and answered the phone when I saw the ID was 'Boss'. I half-lied the boss about Talay being sick and sleeping and unlike my expectation, she was highly understanding. She told me to take care of him and give her a call if Talay would need another day of rest.

Ending the call, I left the phone on the table, then I checked Talay, who was still sleeping in the same position I laid him. He must have been exhausted to the extent that he didn't have energy to move. Feeling proud to earn him a day off, I opened the window for fresh air and closed all the curtains to block the sunlight. As it was still early, I decided to get some more sleep, so I returned back to the bed. Thinking about his accident four years ago and his words after he woke up, I followed him to sleep.

.

.

"I am late! Damn!"

I woke up for the nth time at the same time, hearing Talay's panicked voice.

"What's wrong?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

Like a squirrel, he froze on his spot and turned his face to me with an apologetic expression, "sorry to wake you up."

"It is okay," I said as I straightened up on the bed, "you have a day off by the way."

"Ha?" he gaped at me, making it hard for me to take him seriously with that swollen face and messy hair.

"Your boss called earlier. I said you were sick and she gave you a day off," I explained and he beamed.

"Oh my! Thank you! I love you!" he sang out, making me freeze.

"Oh my god! I am sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he said, covering his mouth with both hands.

Don't get me wrong, I was froze not because I knew he was gay or anything, but because it was the first time hearing those weird three words. Even before Somsak's death, I was an introvert, so I didn't have many friends, let alone lovers.

"I am really sorry, I don't know why I am so tactless. Right after announcing I am gay..."

First, I didn't get what he meant, but when his words combined with the dejected look on his face, the realisation hit me hard.

"It wasn't because you are gay," I declared immediately, "I was just... surprised."

The light was back to his eyes. Putting a hand over his heart, he said "I am relieved, I was afraid about your attitude."

I frowned as I remembered the bullying he endured because he was gay. Bastards! That's why I hated human beings in general!

"Your sexual preferences doesn't affect who you are, you are still the same guy as before," I said with a smile and he almost cried.

"Thank you, you are the best person ever!" he complimented me and grabbed his phone from the table, "because you are so nice, I will treat you to breakfast. What do you want to eat?"

I made use of a shrug as I was still under the effect of his overly compliments.

"Hmm," he pursed his lips as he contemplated what to order. At the end, he smiled brightly and kept tapping on his phone. When he was done, he focused his eyes on me again, "shall we eat together here?" he asked with a shy look.

Wasn't it given? I must still have looked unapproachable...

"Shall we not?" he pressed again with a tense grin, so I just cleared the table as a reply. He clapped his hands merrily and said "let me take a shower, then I will come back."

I nodded and he rushed out. Then I talked with my agent and I also took a shower. The moment I left the bathroom, I heard knocking on the door. Thinking it was Talay, I opened it without checking from the peephole and froze seeing a delivery man.

"Hey, I brought your order," he said with a smile and approached the door to give me the bag.

If I expected to see a stranger, my reaction wouldn't be that severe, yet it was an unexpected stranger and he kept approaching me as I was walking back.

"What's wrong? You didn't order food?" I heard him asking, but his voice was coming from far or my loud heartbeats prevented me from hearing him properly. I wanted to ask him to leave, but I couldn't find my voice.

Then a miracle happened.

With my blurry vision, I saw Talay yanking the boy out before closing my door. I heaved a relieved sigh and slumped on the chair behind me. That was close....

I didn't know how much I sat there, but probably after a few minutes, Talay knocked the door while calling out to me, saying it was him.

Although I was grateful to him for saving the situation, I still resented at him for his negligence. How could he make such a mistake when he knew about my phobia? Didn't he care about me in the same way I cared about him? Why?...

"Veera, please open the door," he repeated again and again, so in the end, I opened the door to confront him.

"Are you okay?" he asked immediately with clear worry... but I wasn't sure about his sincerity anymore.

"How could you do that?" I asked curtly, my usual cold-self back to the surface.

"I am sorry, but there wa-"

"Never mind," I shushed him, "I have something to do," I said as I pushed the door, but he put his hand on the door, preventing me.

"At least have the food," he almost implored me and left the bag on the floor inside my apartment.

Then I closed the door, trying not to mind his puppy eyes.

I was so stupid, when I thought I was smarter, I made the same mistake again. I was better alone, I didn't need anyone.

Then why was my heart in agony?