My Phobia Man

26. The Confrontation

"Veera, is it true?"

"Hmm?" I asked with uneasiness, seeing Talay devastated in front of my door.

He exhaled loudly with his eyes closed, then he entered my flat and closed the door. He leaned on the door as if he had no strength to stand by his own.

"Are you that firefighter, Somsak's brother?" he asked with fear in his voice.

He learnt.

As there was no use denying it, I pulled him towards the dining table. I made him sit down before sitting across from him. Taking a deep breath to prepare myself for the hurricane, I said "you are right, I am Somsak's brother."

A dejected expression flashed through his black eyes, then he propped his elbows on the table and buried his head in his hands. I waited for him to talk, but he was silent.

"It is okay, don't be like this," I had to say as he was silent for more than a few minutes.

"Is it okay?!" he exclaimed as he raised his head swiftly, "because of me, your brother is dead! I... I... how long did you know about it?"

I wanted to reassure him that it wasn't his fault, but he seemed highly on the edge, so I decided to answer his questions before I took the lead of the conversation.

"I learnt it when your mother told us about your accident."

"That was why you had an attack..." he covered his mouth as the revelation hit him.

I nodded truthfully, "it was shocking for me as well, but I want you to know that I don't have any bad feelings. It was an accident and my brother is a hero who saved an innocent person."

"But still..." a lonely tear trickled down his face, "you will be reminded of that accident whenever you see me... maybe not now, but later, you will resent me..."

"Never," I grabbed his hands firmly, "there is nothing to resent for, I know you were innocent and that's enough."

"No," he withdrew his hands and rubbed his face, "I saw the articles about the fire... I couldn't even help to clean my saviour's name... and because of that I caused your phobia."

His voice relayed how painful the whole ordeal was for him. My heart twisted with pain, seeing him like that. All I wanted for him to be happy, but he was suffering extra because of me.

"You didn't cause my phobias," I said softly as the sun started to diminish from the horizon, "even before the accident, I was quite unsociable, and maybe that's why I was so attached to Somsak. However, he was suddenly gone, and like your parents, my parents got harassed by the media day and night. They kept asking why my brother didn't obey the rules, but acted on his own... why he wasn't professional enough to avoid his death... why he..." I couldn't continue as it was still painful to remember those times. This time, Talay reached and held my hands, giving me his silent support.

"They weren't even looking for the truth... they just needed some headlines. As if it wasn't enough, my classmates pestered me with false accusations and snitched for the reporters," I continued with a bitter smile, "because of their continuous intrusion, I got that damn phobia and anxiety. Therefore, it is not your fault."

I tried my best to convey my sincerity and hoped he would believe me. Although we didn't know each other for a long time, I felt a secure connection between us and wanted to believe that he also felt the same. If he wanted to break up with me because of this matter, it would kill me. After this huge effort to open up to him...

But...

He believed me... Thank god!

"T-Thank y-you," he stuttered as he burst into tears.

I left my chair immediately, and going to his side, I hugged him from behind tightly. Planting soft kisses to his silk-like hair, I said "what happened had happened, let the past go. You are my brother's last gift to me, let me protect and love you."

"Are you serious? If you regret it later, I won't let you go!" Talay threatened me with the cutest way possible and chuckling, I bent forward to capture his lips to show him how serious I was.

Later that night, Talay was lying in my arms and I felt so at ease... so in bliss. I would never change that moment even if you gave me the whole universe. Talay was my lifeline and I knew my brother was supporting us from up with a content smile.

"I wish I could remember that day," Talay said softly, his gentle voice echoing in the semi-dark flat.

As his back was pressed to my chest, I couldn't see his face, so for a second I thought he was sleep-talking. Therefore, rubbing his arm, I asked "are you awake?"

He stirred and turned around, still keeping my arms around him. Cupping my face, he said "I will do my best to remember that day."

"Don't," I trapped his warm hand between my cheek and hand, "it is not something nice to remember."

"Still, I want to give you a conclusion," he said, his eyes shining with affection under the dim light.

"It is okay, I don't need one," I reassured him, "now sleep, it is late already."

"Okay, good night," he said, unconvinced, and gave me a light kiss on the lips.

"Good night, darling," I said, but of course he didn't have one. Three hours later, he was again talking with someone invisible in my arms.

"I will tell... I promise... he will know..."

As he wasn't thrashing around, I listened to him without moving.

"I will... I will tell..."

Tears started to fall from his closed eyes, alarming me. I propped up a bit, getting ready in case his dream turned into a nightmare.

"You tell him... NOOOO!" he exclaimed and jolted awake.

"It is okay, shhh, I am here," I kept repeating, rubbing his fast moving chest.

"I..." he looked at me weirdly with tears in his eyes, "I saw him..."

"Who?" I asked, but he didn't answer. He rather pushed my hands and got out of the bed from the other end.

"I will learn... for you," he said with determination and until I understood what was happening, he rushed out of my flat.

"Shit!" I shouted and rushed behind him, but I was late.

When I arrived at the end of the corridor, the elevator doors closed... with Talay inside.