Always you.

Chapter Twenty-Four.

Y/N's POV:

So here I am, only a few steps away from Scarlett's door. Im still mad but I sure as hell miss her and of course Rose.
I take a deep breath in, decide to get it over and done with and knock firmly on the door.
I can just about hear Rose shouting out to her mom.
"Momma someone at the door!!"
I can't help but smile when I hear her squeaky little adorable voice.
Scarlett opens the door and she looks as beautiful as ever.
"H..Hi..." I stutter.
"Hey, come in." Scarlett replies as she opens the door further for me to step in.
"Rose is watching Frozen on the couch if you wanna go say hello." Scarlett suggests and I nod.

I walk as quietly as possible behind Rose and clear my throat to get her attention. She quickly whips her head around and her face instantly lights up.
"Y/N!!!! You scare me!!" She giggles and jumps up, standing on the back of the sofa leaning into me and I grab hold of her so she doesn't fall.
"Hey Rosie! I missed you. Here I bought you some candies but you will have to ask mommy if you can have them okay?" I say handing her  the bag. She thanks me and runs off to ask her mother if she can eat them.
"Of course sweetie. Only few though as dinner will be ready soon." Scarlett says to Rose as they walk back into the room.
I look down at the ground not knowing what to do, I feel that if I look at her for too long I won't be mad anymore and that I'll just instantly cave in.
"Do you wanna join me in the kitchen so we can talk whilst I cook dinner." She quietly asks me. I agree and we make our way towards the kitchen.
"I've prepared way to much for just the two of us, do you maybe want to stay for dinner?" She asks and looks into my eyes.
Maybe that would be pushing it but maybe it would be nice.
Alyssa did tell me that I have to stop thinking about some things and just do it and maybe this is one of those things.
"Sure that would be nice." I politely reply.
Scarlett instantly smiles but tries to hide it. I really missed seeing that smile this week.
She grabs two glasses and pours out some wine. She hands me the now filled glass and I send her a quick 'thank you' still avoiding eye contact.

"Okay I just want to start off by saying what happened with Colin meant nothing. I only met up with him to talk about the divorce and then one thing led to another...Sure I was married to him for a long time and maybe something was still there but I soon realised that there was nothing and I was so happy about that. I know I should've told you as soon as it happened because I know whatever we have won't work unless we're honest with eachother and I really really want this to work, I really don't know what I can do to make this better than to apologise profusely. I will continue apologise for as long as you need me to I swear "
  Okay wow she got straight to the point. If I really think about it logically, we aren't together we never really spoke about being together properly so she didn't really owe her loyalty to me, she didn't break my trust... she just really fucking hurt me. I guess that's actually the same thing in some ways... right?
" And then, I didn't sign the divorce papers because Colin never told me he had them all ready to go and be signed, I find out he had them the same day you did. We told the public we got a divorce months ago just so the whole situation would blow over quicker, we didn't want to be stuck in the media with the same stories every week. I should have told you that part too. I was just so wrapped up in being with you, being in our own little world that Colin wasn't even on my mind. I don't even have a full explanation as to why I slept with him other than to make sure that the feelings were fully gone I guess... I think part of me wanted to know for sure that I was fully focused on you and no one else..." Scarlett finally breathes properly and takes a sip of her wine. Once she pulls the glass away from her mouth I can see a tear or two stray from her eyes.

"I don't think I would have been so emotional if I had heard it all from you first, it's the fact I heard it from Colin that hurt like a punch in the gut. He was trying to intimidate me the whole time he was here and then I hear all of that, it was honestly a shock and I didn't properly know how to react. We aren't together so you don't owe me your loyalty. All we said was that we will see where this goes and other than this issue everything has been perfect Scar. I've loved every second I have spent with you, and with Rose. The way it made me feel when I found out that he had his hands on you, he got to touch you the way I have these past few weeks... it made me sick... it made me feel.. violent. I was scared of that feeling, I've never experienced something like that and I was terrified I was going to end up like the one person I spent my whole life trying to be the opposite of... my father. I can't forget the whole thing but it also can't be the way it was untill you're officially divorced. It just feels wrong now..." I explain truthfully.. she nods her head letting me know she's listening as she cooks the food.

I've never opened up to someone like that for a very long time, I don't even speak to Alyssa like this. Im very shocked at the fact I done it so easily too and everything I said is the truth.
As much as I wanna rip this woman's clothes off everytime I see her, I cant do it knowing she's a married woman even if they have split up. I want to do this the right way.
"Obviously I still want to see you and hang out with you and little Rosie, my feelings for you have not changed at all, if anything they just keep getting stronger and that's why I want to do this properly, and I can't wait untill that asshole, Colin, can't call you his." I finish my long ass speech off as I step closer to Scarlett who I know is crying but is trying to cover it up by making herself busy. She grabs something out of the drawer and turns away from me. I gently grab her wrist and spin her around so she is now facing me.

"Please don't cry my love." I whisper as I place my finger under her chin and lift her head up to look at me. I wipe away her tears and she instantly clings to my body and lightly sobs.
It hurts my heart to see and hear her cry. I just want to take all the pain away from her and go through it myself so she doesn't have to.

"I'm so sorry... I'm... I'm sorry" She sobs.
"I know darling. I know." I whisper again and place my chin on top of her head and wrap my arms securely around her body. Maybe I'm too forgiving but everyone deserves a second chance.
"I hurt you already and we aren't even together yet! I always mess everything good up even if I don't mean to, I don't want to lose you Y/N I feel like I've known you my whole life..
I lived without you once and I'm not doing it again.. I can't." She sighs and has now started to calm down.

"Scar, I'm not going anywhere okay? You made some mistakes, we all do it. That's part of life, we make mistakes but we learn from them. Im still kinda mad about it all, I'll just need some time okay?." I reassure her before giving her forehead a little kiss and then pull away.
"I'll make the rest of dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs is one of my favourite meals, I can deal with this, you go and relax with Rose."

"Thank you, Y/N. For everything. Especially being so understanding."
I nod and hand Scarlett her glass of wine and watch her walk away. I then turn around and finish off dinner.

Maybe I shouldn't have forgiven her so easily but it's easier to stay mad at her when I can't see her... also, yolo right? At the end of the day me staying mad at her isn't going to get me anywhere in life. Everyone deserves happiness this seems to be the start of mine.

After around 20 minutes I finish up cooking and place the food on three different plates and call them both for dinner.
We all sit together and the room is filled with our laughter. Colin is an absolute fool for letting this go, this right here... this is my happy place.

And thats how the rest of the evening was spent, lots of laughter and a very energetic Rose, I seriously regret giving her sweets now...
It was worth it though, it was fun and happy. By the time I left and headed out, it was too late to sort everything out and go back home, it was just easier to sleep on Alyssa's couch one last time. Well atleast I hope it's the last time, this thing is pretty uncomfortable.

As I'm laying here I notice that the heavy feeling that's been dragging me down this week has finally set me free and I can breathe again,
Scarlett is my breathe of fresh air...

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I know not many people read these parts
but for those of you that do, thank you
all for sticking around and somewhat enjoying
What I write.
I really am grateful for every single one of you
<3

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Thank you!

Have a good day :)