Taming Wild Roses [Chasing Liberty Series #1]

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"You really don't like my offer?" he seems disappointed. I remained as calm as possible.

Tumango ako sa tanong niya. Ibinalik ang papel na nakalagay sa mesa. "Sorry, I really can't leave. My child's here." sagot ko.

He stood up and smiled. "Sure, Ms. Davis. It totally sucks that you can't be with our team, but I understand."

"Thank you, Sir." I stood up too and bowed slightly.

"Maybe next time, you can join us. Please reconsider, we're one call away. And we love to have you on our team." tumango ako sa sinabi niya.

We shook hands then he left.

I sighed.

Sayang yung offer, but I can't leave this place to work abroad. Hindi ko kayang hindi dinadalaw ang anak tuwing linggo.

I am about to go there actually, kaya lang may biglaan siyang proposal so I agreed to come and see.

But sadly, I had to turn it down.

Okay lang Roshan, may iba pang pagkakataon. Or soon, if destiny permits, you can work outside the country.

Tumayo na rin ako at inayos ang sarili. I parked my car near the cafe kaya madali lang akong naka alis at naka sakay.

"I'm going now baby, can't wait to see you." sa nagdaang taon ay palagi kong dinadalaw ang anak, every Sunday specifically.

I always brought her flowers and cake. Doon na rin ako kumakain ng lunch.

It's like my safe space, my comfort.

Tuwing nalulungkot ako, sa kanya ako pupunta. Twuing masaya naman ay siya ang una kong dinadalaw.

When I graduated, I celebrated it there. When I got my first job, siya ang unang sinabihan ko. When I got depressed because of Kai, siya ang naging lakas ko.

It all boils down to Neytiri, to my life, my child.

It feels good to have a place that I can go whenever I need someone. Tris and Kelly are always there for me, pero alam kong may sari-sarili rin silang problema kaya't minsan ay hindi ko na sila inaabala pa.

I appreciate everyone who chose to stay in my life.

And that is what matters the most, to look at the brighter side of life. Dahil kung papakain ka sa mga negatibong bagay ay mas lalo kang malulugmok.

Life is full of colors, may mga panahong masaya tayo katulad ng dilaw, asul at berde. May mga panahong madilim naman, katulad ng itim, kayumanggi at pula.

Kai may have painted my life with too many colors, but Neytiri's the one who engraved it in me. My daughter is the only one who really cuts my heart deep and breaks it many times.

Makaka move on naman ako sa love life na ito, pero sa pagkawala ng anak ko? Never.

I will heal, but I will never move on.

The scar is there, and it will never fade just like my love for her.

"Someone brought you flowers baby?" ipinatong ko ang dalang bulaklak at cake sa damuhan, katabi ng hindi pamilyar na mga rosas.

"Did Ninang Tris and Kelly bring you one?" pagtataka ko. "Or Aiden?" hinaplos ko ang mga rosas. Isa lang sa kanila ang pwedeng magdala nito rito. I wonder who?

I fixed her grave. Tinanggal ko rin ang mga damo at pinunasan ang lapida. Ito ang palagi kong ginagawa tuwing dumadalaw. Minsan ay nagdadala rin ako ng laruan, o kaya mga canvass para dito magpinta.

This is like my second home. A solace with my baby.

"How are you, my love? Mommy's doing fine, I guess? You know, someone offered me a job abroad with a high salary, pero hindi ko tinanggap eh." I laid down comfortably and crossed my legs. I gently touched her headstone engraved with her beautiful name.

"I can't leave you, baby. Not now." something was hurling in my stomach. My tears formed.

"You're my only source of strength, my reason not to give up. When I'm away with you, I don't know if I can function well. Wala ka na nga sa tabi ko, hindi pa kita madalaw." I wiped my tears.

"But, I am not closing any doors. Hindi ko alam kung kailan, but if one day, I can stand on my own, then..maybe I can accept a job far away. Maybe I can start my new life there...I don't know. Basta ngayon, alam kong hindi kita kayang iwan."

"Sorry baby, ang hina ni mommy ah? I'm trying so hard. Ang hirap hirap. Ilang taon na pero nandito pa rin ako. I am still mourning for your death."

And I think that's understandable.

Noon, iniisip kong walang mararating ang buhay ko dahil hindi pa rin ako maka move on sa pagkawala ng anak ko. But fuck, I'm a mom, hindi talaga ako makakalimot.

I will always carry this brokenness wherever I go. Ito na ang bumubuo sa akin.

Hindi rin totoong makaka move on ka. Some stayed, and it was there forever. We only need acceptance, and the truth to let go. But it's there, always and forever will be.

I can't move one, I will always carry this pain within me. But, this pain makes me stronger, so I think I'm fine.

Narinig ko ang pagtunog ng langit. Ang kaninang maliwanag na paligid ay biglang nagdilim. Mukhang uulan pa.

My umbrella is in my car, however, I plan to stay there, Sunday is for my baby. Hintayin ko na lang ang malakas na pagbagsak ng ulan.

Baka rin matakot ang anak ko sa kulog at kidlat, so I'm staying. I failed to protect her before, so now, kahit sa munting bagay ay maipadama ko sa kanya na nandito ako. That her mom will protect her.

I smiled at her grave. "Don't worry, mommy's here. I will protect you."

Nakita ko ang unti unting pagbagsak ng ulan sa paligid. My eyes grew curious on how I'm still not wet.

Tumingala ako at nanlaki ang mata ng may makitang payong sa itaas.

Dahan dahan akong tumayo para makita ang may hawak nito. My heart beats louder, kasabay ng pag kulog ang pag dagundong ng aking puso.

"It's been a while." pambungad niya. He is smiling, a smile like a ray of sunshine that will shed you from darkness and storm.

"I hope I'm not yet late." he added, still with that beautiful eye smile.

Hindi ko mapantayan ang tangkad niya. My eyes can't level his gaze, so I have to look up.

He's standing still, and tall. Maayos ang tikas at walang bakas na sakit sa katawan o mukha. He grew some mustache pero bagay pa rin sa kanya. Humaba rin ng kaunti ang kanyang buhok. He grew bulkier, probably from the gym, tho halatang pumayat siya.

His smell, that familiar smell that I always love. Yung amoy na palagi kong hinahanap, na palagi kong pinapangarap.

My brain can't function well. Hindi ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan.

I am shocked..very shocked. He's right, it's been a while. A long fucking while.

Unti unting namuo ang luha sa aking mata. Ang sakit ng puso ko, parang may kung anong pumipihit nito.

"Bakit ngayon ka lang!?" I weeped as I beat his chest all over again. Lahat ng sakit, lahat ng galit, ibinuhos ko sa paghampas sa kanya.

He hugged me, binitawan niya ang payong para mayakap ako. Ang hagupit ng ulan at hangin ay aking naramdaman.

"I'm back, baby. And I am sorry it took me so long." he mumbled as he tightened our embrace.

It's like he's here to warm my cold and broken heart.

Through the rain and storm, he is now here to shelter me at hindi hindi na aalis pa.