Taming Wild Roses [Chasing Liberty Series #1]

70

"Isa po dito." turo ko sa kumpol ng bulaklak. "Padagdag na rin po ng sunflowers."

"Ito lang neneng?"

"Opo." sagot ko at ibinigay ang bayad.

Dahan dahan akong umalis sa tindahan at itinuon ang mata sa daan papunta sa sementeryo.

Tumingin ako sa langit. Maaliwalas ang panahon at presko ang hangin.

Ngumiti ako at dinama ang hampas nito. "I'm coming for you baby."

It's been a year.

It's been a year since she left us. Since Kai and I parted ways to heal first.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nakayanag magsimula muli pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari. I was left alone, my daughter was up there and the man I love was miles away from me.

But the thought of Kai pushing his best to walk became my inspiration.

The thought of peace and freedom from the pain and burden of my past became my way to stand up and fight again.

The thought of Neytiri smiling down here is my reason to not give up. Ayokong makita niyang mahina ako. Ayokong mag alala siya sa akin, kaya't kahit anong mangyari hindi ako bibitaw.

And that's why I survived for a year....alone.

Nakakasama ko naman sina Tris at Kelly pero hindi palagi. I try to distance myself from them. Hindi ko rin alam pero minsan ay naaalala ko lang sa kanila ang nakaraan. I told this to them, and they understand. They said they will always support me, at kung kailangan ko ng tulong ay nandiyan lang sila palagi.

I appreciate them. I know life has not been good to us but they always made me feel that I have someone to lean on, especially during my darkest days.

Nabalik ako sa realidad ng tumunog ang aking cellphone. Kinuha ko ito sa bag at sinagot.

"Doc." ngiti ko.

"I'm just gonna remind you of our meeting later."

"Yes, after ko dito ay didiretso ako sayo."

"I'm gonna wait for you. Tell Neytiri I said hi."

I chuckled. "Sure. See you later."

I ran to my daughter's grave. Palagi ko naman siya binibisita pero hindi pa rin mawala ang bigat sa aking loob.

Masakit pa rin.

Parang sinasaksak pa rin ako tuwing tinititigan ko ang himpilan niya.

I am still mourning for the lost years.

Ang bata niya pa para mawala. Ang bata niya ng kunin siya sa akin, sa amin ni Kai.

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at inilagay ang nabiling bulaklak sa kanyang tabi. "Hi, baby. Do you miss mama?"

"Ako kasi miss na miss na kita." my voice broke. "Miss ko na kayo ni dada."

"Kumusta ka diyan? Are you playing with other kids? Are you happy?" I held my chest because the pain is kicking in again.

"Si mama...okay naman. Kinakaya ko naman. Huwag kang mag alala sa akin ha? I'm hurt but I'm trying." I smiled halfly.

"I'm still in the process of accepting that you're really gone."

Narakaramdam ako ng malamig na simoy ng hangin. It's like the air is hugging me. It's like Neytiri's comforting his broken mommy.

My eyes bawled. "Anak naman eh." niyakap ko ang sarili. "Can you hug mama one more time? I really miss that eh."