21 questions (gxg) (girlxgirl)

④

𝕬𝖎𝖞𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖆
I saw my last relationship crumble before my eyes after she cheated on me but I still decided to stay and that might I add was one of the most stupid decisions I'd ever made.

Once you quote on quote forgive someone for willingly cheating they know you're easy and they know that you'll always be there to take them back.

I knew that relationship was over after she cheated and I stopped trusting her but I took her back because I still loved her. Anytime she'd come over I'd want to be anywhere but close to her, when she spoke all I heard was this screeching agitating voice almost like someone was using a shard of glass to scratch my brain.

I started to despise her and of course she kept cheating because like I said once you take someone back after willingly cheating on you then you've set yourself up for more bullshit down the line.

"Babe come on it's not that serious!"

"You cheating on me multiple times! That isn't serious? I honestly can't believe the amount of rubbish that is coming out of your mouth right now."

"Babe."

"Stop calling me that!" I slammed the door shut and started walking towards my house leaving her there standing under the subtle rain that stained the atmosphere.

I had picked her up from yet another party where she drank to stupor and smoked till her eyes were blood red and of course I caught her making out with some guy. Notice how I didn't direct any insult at him?

It wasn't at all his fault that my girlfriend was a continuous offender when it came to cheating so all my insults were for her not her escapades.

This so called love had blinded me for too long and in that moment I was tired and most of all I was done. Did I really love her or did the thought of staring afresh scare me more than anything?

"Don't ever come back here and don't ever think I'll take you back. You've hurt me so much over the past few months and I've been with you hoping! Praying in fact that you'd change for me. I hoped that all the love I had for you would be reciprocated one day if you saw how hard I was trying for us." I fell to the wet and soggy ground and hugged my knees crying.

She came close to me and gave me her hand to pull me up. I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine just like all the other times but this time I wasn't going to fall into her trap. I slapped it away and stood up.

"Just leave and never come back."
With that I turned and walked into my house leaving her there in the rain probably confused about when I finally grew a backbone.

If you couldn't tell the word 'babe' was a sore spot for me and not because I still loved her. Hell no. It's just that after hearing that word for months on end from her stained mouth I just grew to hate it.

I still believed people could cheat on you and still love you. Just some certain scenarios made me understand that. Cheating wasn't okay sure but there are some scenarios where cheating would occur and you'd still know the person loves you. You know? Maybe you don't but I do.

Just then Justin ran into my room and jumped on the bed bringing me back to reality.

"No." I said to him already knowing why he was there.