Marvel Cast And Their Roles X Reader

✮Sherlock|Sherlock X Reader|The Tears No One Should See

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No one had ever seen Y/N cry. No one. Not when her grandfather died, not when her father yelled at her, not when she was told, she was a disappointment, never had anyone seen her cry. Not a single tear drop seemed to exist in her eyes. You could sense that she was somehow broken deep inside, but she never showed weakness. Not that it is weak to cry, that's just what she thought it is.

'Crying doesn't make anything better, it just gives satisfaction to the people that hate you.'

She thought emotions are a weakness and forced herself to shut them out. She started to believe what she was told but hid it under a thick facade of being the greatest person alive.
She had friends that only spend time with her, when no one else was around, so she shot them out until no one was left anymore. She was alone.

She worked in the St. Barts Hospital, there she met Sherlock and somehow they became friends. None of them asked stupid questions about the past or wanted to know trivial things. Sherlock could obviously read everything from her posture, clothes, facial expressions, et cetera. So he was the only one that knew things about her, she told no one. She was impressed, he was confused she didn't say:"Piss off."

Then they met John Watson. He fitted in and together the trio solved cases, had fun and lived together in a flat.

Everything was fine, Y/N felt finally truly happy but eventually everything has to find an end.

"That's what people do, don't they? Leave a note?"

"Leave a note when?"

"Goodbye, John."

Y/N wasn't there when it happened, wasn't sure if she even wanted to.
She didn't know, that she almost got killed by a sniper. She didn't know what Sherlock had just done for her and his friends. She didn't know he wasn't gone.
All she knew was what John said on the phone.

He cried when Y/N pressed the green button on her phone. "John, what's wrong?" she asked. "Sherlock, he-" John sobbed. "What's going on?" "He's dead." "What? What happened?" she questioned in disbelief. "He- He jumped off Barts."

A short silence fell between them and Y/N swolled hard, trying to process what John had said.

"Where are you now?"
"I'm still at the hospital."
"Okay stay there, I'm coming to you."

She then hung up and rushed down to the garderobe. "What's wrong, dear?" Mrs. Hudson asked as Y/N ran past her and the handyman, who was actually Moritay's co-worker. "Sherlock jumped off St. Barts." she pounded from running down the stairs and took her coat. Mrs Hudson was left in confusion and was very worried.

When she finally reached the hospital she almost jumped out of the cap and searched for John. When she saw him, he was standing a bit lost at the pavement with a blanket over him, for the shock. "Oh god, Y/N!" he said relieved, as she came up to him. "What happened?" she asked again. "He stood up there and- and told me how he's fake and that he isn't that clever, that all what Moritay said about him was true. I don't believe him, the first time we met, he knew everything and- and" "Shhhh, John calm down first." Y/N interrupted him and hugged him.
John seemed like he completely gone cray, he was in shock and cried and didn't wanted to believe what he witnessed.
"I don't believe this." he murmured in Y/Ns embrace.
"Me neither." she said.

Well, they had to believe, there wasn't another truth. Sherlock was gone. At least for a while, but almost nobody knew.

The funeral was horrible. It was very quiet among the relatives and friends of Sherlock Holmes. His parents weren't there, it was a bit odd, Y/N thought.

At the end it were just Mrs. Hudson, John and Y/N standing at the grave. Mrs. Hudson had cried. John had cried. Y/N did not.

Their landlady spoke some words until John interrupted her and a short while later she left. John had something to say too, but Y/N didn't really listen. She just looked at the gravestone.

SHERLOCK
HOLMES

Disbelief. That's all she felt. She could not imagine that Sherlock ended his life himself. That he was dead was a shock for itself, but that he did it. She knew he must have had some trauma but that it would lead to this? No, it can't be. There must've been something else or more likely someone else, she thought.

Moritay...?

John also left after a while and there she stood, alone, like she was before she met the man who she thought was lying there, 6 feet under.

No one was there to see the pain in her eyes as the hot tears welled up in them. No one was there to see her suffering so she let it out, let it be, let it happen. No one would ever see her being weak.

She got on her knees and sat on her legs as one after another tear fell from her cheeks or dropped down her chin.

"I may seem stupid know, talking to a gravestone but I guess I have no other choice. I mean talking to you isn't really an option anymore," she chuckled painfully,"I wish I could know why you did this, because I don't believe what you told John.
You knew about how I hide my feelings, how I'm scared all the time about acting too emotional, how the first corpse I saw didn't left me cold like I had pretended, how insecure I am, you knew everything about me, you knew me like no one else...

I don't believe that that was fake.

I'm just wondering why you never said something about my feelings towards you. You must have noticed. Did you? Not like you could answer me..." She took a deep breath and looked up in the sky before continuing:"I never told you and I feel like I actually had to, even though I think you knew. It's just odd you never said a thing, like you usually do when you make a deduction about something. I've never let me feel such thing but I had the feeling it would be okay if it was you I fall for, so I allowed myself to fall and let go of my mindset, of the idea that feelings and emotions are weak...
Well didn't turned out too well, you think?" she chuckled again.
"Anyway, I have the feeling we'll see each other again some day. Hopefully I don't go crazy like Anderson...
What I want to say is that I hope you're out there, even though it seems impossible and even if, what I'm about to say, sounds like I stole it straight out of a kitschy romance book, I kinda like the idea of it being true.
People say you can feel when you're significant other is hurt or in danger and I feel that you... are still here. I know it's stupid but it really is like that....
Oh god what have I done, by letting myself fall in love? I'm weaker than ever in my life! It's all your fault...
Maybe I should join the empty hearse and make up theories with Anderson..." she smiled a bit though her tears and sighed. "If my gut feeling is right, just promise to come back. I'll wait." she stood up and walked over to the black gravestone, layed her hand on the edge and said:"I love you."

Then she left.

Sherlock stood behind a tree and had watched the whole thing.
"I will try to hurry." he whispered.