Moments with you!

Dark Roads.

I'm sure his mind was full of confusion, I could tell by his face. He didn't feel the same....

"Lia..... i..." He studdered a bit turning away from me.

Oh no.... i thought he doesn't i knew i shouldn't of but deep down i really wanted to... Melody was wrong i wasn't ready for this.... and that's exactly what he told me.

"Lia" he started again. " I'm not ready for a girlfriend and i just like being your friend...."

I could feel the tears graze my eyes and my cheeks burning with embarresment.

I'm such an idiot.

" I understand" I managed to say even though it wasn't true at all.

I didnt understand is it me does he not like me because of something i did.

"I'm just not ready.." he said again looking at the floor before shuffling in his chair ujusting his guitar on his lap and beginning to strum like he hadn't even done anything. He had no clue he broke my heart, that i probably would cry my self to sleep tonight, I couldn't face anyone now, Not like this.

after what seemed like hours but was only  a couple minutes of awkwardness I stood  up from my chair and left, without saying good bye, i just left. closing his front door quietly tears flowed down my face at the second i did. I needed a hug.... a Long hug.

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I reached Melody's house and quietly walked in, there was no one home. or so it seemed like it. the dark living space was cold as i crept through it the only light was through the window on the far wall near the sofa and small table. i just wanted to cry right now i was in no state to interact with anyone not even melody.

Making my way to the guest room where i was staying i opened the door and fell face first into my bed, and just cried. i thought about everything through that time of weeping i never new i had so many tears to shed over this topic. I like him so much. Why did i even bother though he made it clear he didn't want to be more than friends couple hours ago and i guess we just weren't meant to be, Though i thought we were.

Hours past and my blankets were soaked with tears, my face was stained and i was now wimpering and developed hickups from all that crying. Then Meolody walked in and i knew i had to tell her or she might kill me but in a way im sure she had a good idea of what had happened.

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"I just thought he liked me back" I sobbed hugging melody tightly as she rubbed little circles in my back comforting me. she was good with this sort of thing.

" I know it alright shhh...." She cooed

i had told her all that had happened and she seemed surprised by his answer.

"lets go for a walk.." she said her arms stretched out to look at me. i just nodded my head as we both stood up.

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We were now walking through the trails of the forest near by. The moon was risen high in the sky guiding us down the trail. we walked in silence the whole way but it was a good comforting silence just being with each other as friends was good. The fresh air was good for me since i have been crying almost all day.

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finally we came to a clearing over looking a small lake we played at as kids.

"Remember that summer when we built that rope swing?" Melody said finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah" i quietly said looking over the water.

"Remember how you were scared to go cause it was so high?" Her soft voice spoke.

"Yeah " I answered again feeling ashamed as the memories flooded back.

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"Just jump!!!!!" Melody yelled from the rocks beside me.

I held on tightly to the rope Swing as i looked down at the side of the rocks at the water that seemed so far away.

There was a line of other kids waiting for me to go but i just couldn't i was to scared.

When out of no where some kid comes from behind me and pushes me off.

I gripped even tighter to the rope as i was startled screaming as i went over the edge and flung off hitting the water with a good smack to it. Tumbling through the water i landed at the bottom of the lake, I could never open my eyes under the water so i had no idea what was happening. I kicked my legs off the bottom trying to resurface but i was caught on someting. i tryed to kick free with all my might when i finally tugged off i swam tot he surface gasping for air but realizing i had no bathing suit anymore.

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I looked back over the cool water after the memories left me and i was back in reality.

"But you got over it" her comforting voice said i could feel her eyes on me but i could look at her i just wanted to feel the peace for a little while longer.

Finally i answered "I know ... but this is something that could ruin our friendship!" I said almost breaking.

Why did i listen to her i should of never told James my feelings it was wrong and he was right I'm not ready for that.

"Yes You can" she argued back.

"No"

"Yes"

"NO"

"YES"

"NO"

"YES Lia you have to don't slump around and sob about how one guy might not like you. You have to keep your head up!!"

I made eye contact with her and tears just fell...... She was right, I cant go trough dark roads anymore. Its time to let go. Even if its been 24 hours since I was at his home. I need to move on before i drowned someone with my tears.