Imperfectly Perfect [Chaelisa]

sixty six

Trigger warning for anxiety/panic attacks.

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"I hate exams."

"I think everyone does," Chaeyoung says, pulling Nala closer to her and flipping through her textbook. "Though, I'm very smart, so I'm not too worried."

"Yeah, well, I'm not," Lisa slams her textbook closed with a sigh. "I hate this. Fuck high school and fuck college. I just want to go back to kindergarten."

"I don't, I didn't like kindergarten much, because I wasn't at the same school as Somi, Jennie and Jisoo and I didn't have any friends at my first school," Chaeyoung rambles, "I preferred second grade because that's when I met them."

"I'm just so stressed," Lisa huffs and rests her head on the desk. "Fuck it. I'll just fail. I don't care anymore."

"Yes you do," Chaeyoung tells her, "you'd be upset if you failed and you'd feel super bad about it, and then you'd mope around and say you're not good at anything, but you're good at lots of things."

"I hate this," Lisa continues, Chaeyoung's words fading into the back of her mind. "I'll fail out of high school, you'll dump me for someone better and everything will go wrong. Fuck these stupid exams and my god damn brain for not absorbing the information."

"Lisa," Chaeyoung pokes her in the arm. "Don't be mean about yourself."

Lisa looks up with a glare. "I suck. I can be mean to myself if I want."

Chaeyoung shakes her head. "No. You can't. Because I'll have to be extra nice to you."

"Look, you mean well and junk and I know that, but my head hurts and I'm stressed and I don't want to snap at you," Lisa says, shoving her textbook into her backpack. "I'm going to sit outside or something."

"No, that's a good idea!" Chaeyoung stands up too, "We should study outside. It's warm and it's sunny, and fresh air is good for the brain. I think. So... yes, let's find a bench or sit on the grass and study."

"I kind of meant..." Lisa goes to tell Chaeyoung she'd rather be alone, but the older girl is beaming at her and pulling her out of the library, and she doesn't have the heart to say no. "Fine. We'll study outside. Maybe it'll make this headache go away."

"I have some Tylenol in my bag," Chaeyoung tells her, tucking Nala under her arm. "I can give you some when we find a suitable place to sit. That'll make your headache go away."

"I guess so," Lisa says as Chaeyoung leads them out to the courtyard. It's empty - most people are in class, since they're on a free period right now - so they don't have much trouble in finding a bench to sit at.

Once they're sat down, Chaeyoung rummages through her backpack and holds out some Tylenol and a bottle of water. "There. I don't want your head to ache."

Lisa sends her a weak smile and kisses Chaeyoung's cheek. "Thank you, Rosie."

"It's okay," Chaeyoung says, reopening her textbook and flipping to the right page. "Anyway, let's continue on with what we were doing before. We need to go over the essay structure, because if you follow my formula in the exam when you get the question, it can't go wrong, really. As long as you make sure to get facts in there and stick with a single point, you'll do well in history. I made you a little guide thing for you to practice with before the exam..."

Lisa tunes out and drops her head on Chaeyoung's shoulder, her nerves easing a little when Chaeyoung's hand starts running through her hair. She's incredibly stressed, because she's never done well in exams. Classwork is easier for her - there's a lot less pressure to deal with - whereas with exams, you only get one shot, and if you're stuck, the teachers won't help you.